Captain's Log: Stardate 4372.5. On a top-secret diplomatic mission, the
Enterprise has entered the Tellun star system.
Maintaining communications blackout, we have taken aboard Petri,
Ambassador from Troyius, the outer planet, and are now approaching the
inner planet Elas.
[Turbolift]
KIRK: Some desk-bound Starfleet bureaucrat cut
these cloak-and-dagger orders.
SCOTT: Aye, but why the secrecy? This star system's under Federation
control.
SPOCK: It's in a border area, Mister Scott. The Klingons also claim
jurisdiction.
SCOTT: From what I've seen, it's not worth fighting about. Why are we
here, Captain?
KIRK: My orders are to co-operate with Ambassador Petri in all matters
pertaining to his mission here.
UHURA [OC]: Bridge to Captain Kirk.
KIRK: Scotty. (Scott presses the intercom button) Kirk here. What is
it?
UHURA [OC]: Captain, I have a signal from the Elasians. They're ready
to beam aboard, and they demand an explanation for the delay.
KIRK: Demand? What delay? All right. Beam them aboard.
SPOCK: Sounds typical of the Elasians. The scientists who made the
initial investigation reported the men were vicious and arrogant.
MCCOY: That's just the negative part, Mister Spock. I've been over
those records. Now the women, they're supposed to be something very
special. They're supposed to have a kind of subtle, mystical power that
drives men wild.
[Corridor]
(The Ambassador is a skinny humanoid with orange
hair and grass green skin.)
KIRK: Ambassador Petri, would you drop all this nonsense and tell me
what this is about?
PETRI: That must wait until the Dohlman is aboard.
KIRK: Dohlman? What the devil is a Dohlman?
[Transporter room]
PETRI: The thing most feared and hated by my
people. Our most deadly enemy.
(Three burly men are beamed aboard. They draw their weapons.)
PETRI: Welcome. I am Petri, Ambassador of Troyius.
KIRK: I'm Captain Kirk. This ship is under my command.
KRYTON: There's a Troyian here. I must know that all is secure before
the Dohlman is brought on board.
KIRK: This ship is secure and we're prepared for any hostile acts.
Energise.
(The Elasians get down on one knee.)
KRYTON: Do honour to the Dohlman of Elas.
(Petri kneels)
KRYTON: Glory to Elaan, Dohlman of Elas.
(A woman in little more than a high-necked bathing suit is beamed
aboard. She is beautiful, but slightly sullen. The Enterprise officers
kneel.)
KRYTON: You may stand.
KIRK: Body armour, nuclear weapons.
SPOCK: Not without precedent, Captain. Remember that
KRYTON: Permission to speak was not given.
ELAAN: You rule this ship?
SPOCK: I am the first officer. This is Captain James Kirk.
PETRI: Your Glory, I am Petri. In the name of my people
ELAAN: Your mission is known to us. Captain Kirk, you have now
permission to show us to our quarters.
KIRK: Well, now, just a moment. There's going to have to be some kind
of understanding.
PETRI: Please.
KIRK: My first officer Mister Spock will show you to your quarters.
Ambassador, I'd like to speak to you.
ELAAN: You have not been dismissed.
KIRK: May I have your permission to go?
ELAAN: You are now dismissed.
KIRK: Why, thank you. Ambassador.
[Corridor]
KIRK: Ambassador, I think it's time you told me
what's going on.
PETRI: That creature, Elaan, is to be the wife of our ruler to bring
peace. Our two warring planets now possess the capability
of mutual destruction. Some method of co-existence must be found.
KIRK: I see. So, we go back to Troyius.
PETRI: Yes. But slowly, Captain. I will need time. Before we reach
there, she must be taught civilised manners. In her present condition,
my people would never accept her.
KIRK: And you are to be her teacher?
PETRI: Those are my orders. I must ask you and your crew to respect, or
at least tolerate, their arrogance. Friction must be kept at a minimum.
KIRK: Yes, that I can understand.
PETRI: Another thing you should understand, Captain. You have as much
at stake as I have. Your superiors made the statement that failure of
this mission would be as catastrophic for Federation planning as it
would be for our two planets. To gain peace at the price of accepting
such a queen is no victory. I will take her the official gifts I bear.
Perhaps that will soften her mood.
[Bridge]
KIRK: Mister Chekov, lay in a course for Troyius.
Mister Sulu, impulse drive, speed factor point zero three seven.
SULU: Impulse drive, Captain?
KIRK: Yes, that's correct, Mister Sulu. Sublight factor point zero
three seven.
SULU: Aye, aye, sir.
SCOTT: Captain? You'll not be using the warp drive? All the way on
impulse? That'll take a great deal of time.
KIRK: You in a hurry, Mister Scott?
SCOTT: No.
(Spock enters.)
SPOCK: Captain, the Dohlman is dissatisfied with the quarters provided.
UHURA: What's the matter with them, Mister Spock?
SPOCK: I do not know, but all the Elasians seem most irrational.
UHURA: I gave up my quarters because I
KIRK: Yes, I appreciate your sacrifice, Lieutenant Uhura. I'll talk to
her myself.
[Elaan's quarters]
(Elaan is throwing slippers at Petri.)
ELAAN: Swine! Take back your gifts!
PETRI: Your Glory, these are your wedding slippers.
ELAAN: Your ruler cannot buy the favours of the Dohlman of Elas.
PETRI: This, (a sky blue thing) this is your wedding dress, a gift from
the bridegroom's mother.
ELAAN: I want nothing of his!
PETRI: This, This is the most prized of royal jewels for your lovely
neck.
(Kirk enters.)
ELAAN: I would strangle if I was to put the gift of a Troyian dog
around my neck. Kryton, by whose permission did he enter?
KRYTON: He came in answer to your summons.
KIRK: I understand you're not happy with your quarters.
ELAAN: Quarters! (throws something that breaks)
KIRK: Yes, not happy at all.
ELAAN: Am I a soft Troyian fawn to need pillows to sit on? And these
ridiculous female trappings. They are an offense to my eyes.
KIRK: My communications officer generously vacated the rooms hoping you
would find it satisfactory.
ELAAN: I do not find them so, and I find him even less satisfactory.
Must my bitterness be compounded with that ridiculous ambassador aboard
your ship?
PETRI: I explained to Her Glory that her council of nobles and the
Troyius Tribunal jointly agreed that I should instruct (pause) make her
acquainted with the customs and manners of our people.
ELAAN: Kryton! Remove him! And take that garbage with you?
(Petri picks up the wedding dress and necklace box, and leaves with
Kryton.)
ELAAN: He dares to suggest that I adopt the servile manners of his
people!
KIRK: Your Glory doesn't seem to be responding to instruction.
ELAAN: I will never forgive the council for putting me through this
torture. Were you responding to my demand for better quarters?
KIRK: There are none better. I suggest you make do with these.
ELAAN: You suggest?
KIRK: There are no more available, but if that's the only way you can
get gratification, I'll arrange to have the whole room filled from
floor to ceiling with breakable objects.
ELAAN: I will not be humiliated!
KIRK: Then act in a civilised fashion.
ELAAN: I did not give you permission to leave!
KIRK: I didn't ask for any.
[Corridor]
PETRI: Captain, I wish to contact my government. I
cannot fulfil my mission. It would be an insult to our ruler to bring
this incorrigible monster as a bride!
KIRK: Ambassador! This is supposed to be a peaceful mission.
PETRI: There cannot be peace between us. We have deluded ourselves.
Captain, when I am near them, I do not want peace. I want to kill them.
KIRK: You're as bad as she is. It's not required that you like each
other. Just do your job.
PETRI: Job? The job is impossible. We cannot make peace with people we
detest.
KIRK: Stop trying to kill each other. Then worry about being friendly.
PETRI: But if she won't listen to me
KIRK: Then make her listen, Ambassador. Use a different approach. Stop
being so diplomatic. She respects strength. Go in strong.
[Bridge]
SPOCK: At first it appeared to be a sensor ghost,
but I've run checks on all the instrumentation. All the equipment is
functioning perfectly.
KIRK: Hydrogen cloud reflection?
SPOCK: None in this area. Nothing that would account for it. The ghost
appears intermittently.
KIRK: Speculation?
SPOCK: None, Captain. Insufficient data.
KIRK: It's not an instrument malfunction. It's not a reflection from a
natural phenomenon. A spaceship?
SCOTT [OC]: Engineering to Captain Kirk.
KIRK: Kirk here.
[Engineering]
SCOTT: Captain, I know what you said about showing
respect, but must I have these persons fool around with my equipment?
[Bridge]
KIRK: Hang on, Scotty. Be pleasant no matter how
much it hurts. I'll be right down.
[Engineering]
MAN: We're only running on impulse engines now.
Ordinarily, we use the warp engines exclusively.
SCOTT: Well, I suppose, lassie, that even our impulse engines must seem
fast compared to your nuclear propulsion units.
ELAAN: We are interested in how the ship is used in combat, not in what
drives it. Engines are for mechanics and menials.
SCOTT: Menials? Without engines, there'd be no fighting or
KIRK: Mister Scott! I wish you had told me you wanted a tour of the
engineering department.
ELAAN: Do we not have the freedom of this ship? We have granted your
crew the permission not to kneel in our presence. What else do you
want?
KIRK: Courtesy. Remember?
ELAAN: Courtesy is not for inferiors.
KIRK: Courtesy is for everyone around here, and you'll find you won't
be able to exist on Troyius without it. Mister Scott, our Chief
Engineer, has shown you his engineering department. That's a courtesy.
You respond by saying thank you.
(The diminutive firecracker stalks away with her bodyguards.)
SPOCK [OC]: Bridge to Captain.
KIRK: Kirk here.
SPOCK [OC]: That sensor ghost is moving closer.
KIRK: On my way.
[Bridge]
SULU: Lost contact now.
SPOCK: Captain, we had a momentary fix on the object enough to
establish it was a spaceship.
KIRK: Whose?
SPOCK: No data yet.
SULU: Captain! Distant bearing, sir, mark seven three point five.
KIRK: Main screen. Extreme magnification.
(A Klingon ship appears in view.)
SPOCK: Our ghost has materialised.
KIRK: A Klingon warship. (after a few moments) Any change, Mister
Spock?
SPOCK: Negative, Captain. The Klingon ship has simply moved into
contact range. She is pacing us, precisely matching our sublight speed
and on a parallel course.
SECURITY [OC]: Security to Captain Kirk.
KIRK: Kirk here. What is it?
SECURITY [OC]: Disturbance in the Dohlman's quarters, sir.
KIRK: On my way.
[Corridor]
SECURITY: Captain, it's Ambassador Petri. They
refuse to explain what's happening, but
KRYTON: Her Glory has not summoned you.
(Elaan comes out of her room)
ELAAN: Kryton, remove that Troyian pig.
(Petri is lying on the floor, with a dagger in his back.)
[Sickbay]
MCCOY: It was a deep wound, Jim. He lost a lot of
blood, but he'll recover.
PETRI: If I recover, it will be no thanks to you, Captain.
KIRK: I said talk with her, not fight with her.
PETRI: I should've known better than to talk to her unarmed, but you
forced me. I hold you responsible for this.
MCCOY: Well, I've heard of reluctant brides, but this is ridiculous.
UHURA: Captain Kirk. May I speak with you, sir?
KIRK: Yes. Certainly.
UHURA: A message just came from Starfleet Command. It was class-A
security and scrambled. I put it through the decoder.
KIRK: What was it?
UHURA: The Federation High Commissioner is on his way to Troyius to
attend the royal wedding.
CHAPEL: Ambassador, if Elasian women are that vicious, why are men so
overwhelmingly attracted to them? I mean, what magic do they possess?
PETRI: It's not magic. It's biochemical. A man whose flesh is once
touched by the tears of a woman of Elas has his heart enslaved forever.
KIRK: Ambassador, there's an added complication. The Federation High
Commissioner will be attending the wedding.
MCCOY: The fat will be in the fire when he learns the bride just tried
to murder the groom's ambassador.
PETRI: There will be no wedding. I would not have our ruler marry that
monster if the entire galaxy depended on it, and I will have nothing
further to do with you.
KIRK: I'm not asking you to have anything to do with me. Do your job
with her. How long before he's on his feet?
MCCOY: It'll be a few days. A week, at least, Jim.
PETRI: Here you put me, Captain. Here I will stay. I have nothing
further to say to you.
[Elaan's quarters]
(She is dining like a Tudor royal, ripping poultry
apart with her hands.)
ELAAN: So, Ambassador Petri is going to recover? That is too bad. You
have delivered your message. Now you may go.
KIRK: Nothing would please me more, Your Glory. But your impetuous
nature
ELAAN: Your Troyian pig was here in my quarters without any permission,
so I stabbed him. Just to be Troyian is enough.
KIRK: You Elasians pride yourselves on being a warrior people. You must
understand discipline to be able to give and take orders. My orders are
to take you to Troyius to be married and to see that you learn Troyian
customs.
ELAAN: I despise Troyians. Any contact with them makes me feel soiled.
KIRK: It's been my experience that the prejudices people feel about
each other disappear when they get to know each other.
ELAAN: It's not in my experience.
KIRK: Well, we're still faced with the same problem.
ELAAN: Problem?
KIRK: Yes, the problem of your indoctrination to Troyian customs and
manners.
ELAAN: I have eliminated that problem.
KIRK: You have eliminated the teacher. The problem still remains.
ELAAN: Oh. And how do we solve the problem?
KIRK: By giving you a new teacher.
ELAAN: Tell me, what can you teach me?
KIRK: Table manners, for one thing. This is a plate. It contains food.
This is a knife. It cuts the food. This is a glass.
ELAAN: Leave me!
KIRK: Like it or not, you're going to learn what you've been ordered to
learn.
ELAAN: You will return me to Elas immediately.
KIRK: That's impossible.
ELAAN: Everything I order is possible.
KIRK: That's the first problem we're going to work on. Then we'll get
you ready to go to Troyius.
ELAAN: I will not go to Troyius, I will not be mated to a Troyian, and
I will not be humiliated, and I will not be given to a green pig as a
bribe to stop a war!
KIRK: You enjoy the privileges and prerogatives of being a Dohlman.
Then be worthy of them. If you don't want the obligations that go along
with the title, then give it up.
ELAAN: Nobody speaks to me that way.
KIRK: That's another one of your problems. Nobody's told you that
you're an uncivilized savage, a vicious child in a woman's body, an
arrogant monster!
(Elaan slaps Kirk, so he slaps her back.)
KIRK: That's no way to treat someone who's telling you the truth.
(He turns to leave, she takes a knife from her sleeve and throws it. It
just misses him and sticks in the wall.)
KIRK: Tomorrow's lesson will be on courtesy.
[Bridge]
KIRK: Lieutenant, open up the hailing frequency,
identify us, and ask the Klingon his intentions.
UHURA: Aye, sir.
(Meanwhile, Kryton is sneaking around in Engineering, and messing with
the dilithium crystals.)
UHURA: Captain, no response from the Klingon vessel on any channel.
KIRK: I see. All right, Lieutenant. Monitor all frequencies. Phaser
crews stand by. Maintain Yellow Alert.
[Engineering]
WATSON: What are you doing?
(Kryton kills the red-shirt and hides his body, then continues with his
sabotage.)
[Corridor]
(Kirk is prevented from entering Elaan's quarters.)
ELASIAN: No one may enter the Dohlman's presence.
KIRK: Where's Kryton?
ELASIAN: On business. No one may enter the Dohlman's presence.
KIRK: Will you tell Her Glory that Captain Kirk requests the honour of
a visit.
ELASIAN: The Dohlman has promised I'll be whipped to death if I let
Captain Kirk pass through that door.
(They push Kirk away, so Spock stuns them with a phaser.)
KIRK: Thank you, Mister Spock. When they wake up, take them to Security
holding.
SPOCK: Captain, your analysis of the situation was flawless,
anticipating that she would deny you admittance. However, the logic by
which you arrived at your conclusion escapes me.
KIRK: Mister Spock, the women on your planet are logical. That's the
only planet in this galaxy that can make that claim.
[Elaan's quarters]
(Elaan takes another swing at Kirk, so he forces
her back down onto the bed.)
ELAAN: You dare touch a member of the royal family.
KIRK: Only in self-defence. Now, are you going to behave or not?
ELAAN: The penalty is death for what you are doing.
KIRK: We're not on Elas. We're on my starship. I command here.
(She bites his hand and runs into the bathroom.)
ELAAN: You are warned, Captain, never to touch me again.
KIRK: If I touch you again, Your Glory, it'll be to administer an
ancient Earth custom called a spanking, a form of punishment
administered to spoiled brats.
ELAAN: You have my leave to go.
KIRK: You forget, Your Glory, we haven't started your lesson in
courtesy.
ELAAN: You can teach me nothing, Captain. If I have to stay here for
ten light years, I will not be soiled by any contact with you.
KIRK: Very well. I'll send in Mister Spock or Doctor McCoy. Either way,
you're going to be properly prepared for Troyius. As ordered by
councils, rulers, and bureaucrats.
(She comes back out.)
ELAAN: Captain, there is one thing you can teach me.
KIRK: No, no, you were right the first time. There's nothing I can
teach you. There's nothing you do not know.
ELAAN: I don't know how to make people like me. I don't want everybody
to hate me.
KIRK: Well, it's not it's not that people hate you. It's just that
people don't like to be treated as though they don't exist.
(He wipes a tear from her face.)
KIRK: It's, er, gotten very, er. Something must've gone wrong with the
ventilation system.
ELAAN: Captain?
KIRK: Pardon me, Your Glory. There will be a short recess.
ELAAN: Captain.
(They kiss.)
ELAAN: Captain, that ancient Earth custom called spanking, what is it?
KIRK: It's, er, It's, er. We'll talk about it later.
(He pulls her into a passionate embrace.)
(In Engineering, Kryton finishes his task and opens a communicator.)
[Bridge]
(A light flashes on Uhura's panel.)
UHURA: Bridge to Captain Kirk. Mister Spock, I'm getting
SPOCK: I have it on my sensor, Lieutenant.
UHURA: Bridge to Captain Kirk. Come in, please. Captain Kirk, please
answer.
KIRK [OC]: Kirk here.
UHURA: Oh, Captain, I'm picking up a transmission from inside the
Enterprise. It's on a tight beam aimed at the Klingon vessel.
{Elaan's quarters]
KIRK: Inside the Enterprise? Can you pinpoint it?
SPOCK [OC]: Spock here, Captain. I am triangulating now. It's coming
from the engineering section.
KIRK: Security to Engineering. Intruder alert. Security alert to all
decks. Kirk out.
(He leaves Elaan on the bed with a smug smile on her face.)
[Engineering]
(Kryton has been caught.)
SCOTT: Nobody saw him, but that devil sneaked back in here some way.
Watson must've caught him and he was killed for it. He had this.
Looks like some sort of transmitter.
KIRK: It's Klingon. Bones?
MCCOY: Neck snapped clean.
KIRK: What kind of signal did you send the Klingon ship?
KRYTON: Captain, you must know I will tell you nothing. Our
interrogation techniques are more excruciating than you are even
capable of.
KIRK: Yes, I'm aware you're trained to resist any form of physical
torture. Kirk to Spock.
SPOCK [OC]: Spock here, Captain.
KIRK: Mister Spock, it was Kryton transmitting. He refuses to talk.
I'll need you for the Vulcan mind meld.
(Kryton grabs a security guard's phaser and vapourises himself.)
SECURITY: Captain, I'm sorry. He seemed
KIRK: What was he trying to cover that was so important he felt he had
to die for it? Scotty, he didn't come into Engineering
just to use the transmitter. I want you to check every relay you've
got.
SCOTT: Captain, you must realise the time
KIRK: Don't waste the time telling me about it. Get to it.
SCOTT: Aye.
[Elaan's quarters]
ELAAN: Kryton was of a noble family. He loved me
and wanted to marry me. He was furious when he heard of the
announcement of the wedding plans.
KIRK: He sold out to the Klingons because of jealousy?
ELAAN: Probably. But why speak of unimportant matters when we can speak
about us?
KIRK: There's a Klingon warship out there. What's their involvement?
Surely all of this isn't because they want to stop a marriage.
ELAAN: We should welcome their help.
KIRK: Elaan. Elaan, two planets, an entire star system's stability
depends on it. We have a duty to forget what happened.
ELAAN: Could you do that? Could you give me to another man?
KIRK: My orders and yours say that you belong to another man. What
happened, what happened was an accident.
ELAAN: It was no accident. I chose you, and you chose me. I have a
plan. With this ship, you could completely obliterate Troyius. Then
there will be no need for the marriage. And in gratitude, my people
will give you the complete rule of this system.
KIRK: What kind of a mind could think of such a thing?
ELAAN: He's a Troyian.
(They kiss, and the doorbell buzzes.)
SPOCK [OC]: Captain?
ELAAN: You cannot resist my love, my love.
SPOCK [OC]: Captain.
(The door opens, and McCoy and Spock see the lovers in their close
embrace.)
SPOCK: May we see you a moment?
MCCOY: Jim. Jim! May we please have a word with you?
[Corridor]
SPOCK: Captain, are you all right?
MCCOY: Did she cry, Jim?
KIRK: What?
MCCOY: Did she cry? Did her tears touch you at any time?
(Kirk looks at his hand.)
MCCOY: Oh, we're in trouble. Now listen, Jim. Petri told Christine that
the Elasian women have a sort of a biochemical substance in their tears
that acts like a super love potion. And according to him, it doesn't
wear off.
SPOCK: It is true then, Captain?
KIRK: It's true. Bones, you've got to find me an antidote.
MCCOY: I'll try, but I'll need tests and
SULU [OC]: Bridge to Captain.
KIRK: Captain here.
SULU [OC]: Captain, the Klingon ship has changed course. It is heading
toward us at warp speed.
KIRK: I'm on my way. Battle stations.
[Bridge]
KIRK: Phasers stand by.
SULU: Phasers ready, sir.
SPOCK: Their speed is better than warp six, Captain.
KIRK: Mister Chekov, lay in a course to take us out of this star
system. If they want to fight, Let's get some
manoeuvering room.
CHEKOV: Course computed, sir.
SULU: Laid in, Captain.
KIRK: All right. Ahead warp factor two.
SCOTT [OC]: Captain, the matter-antimatter
KIRK: Belay that order. What is it, Scotty?
[Engineering]
SCOTT: The anti-matter pods are rigged to blow up
the moment we go into warp drive.
[Bridge]
KIRK: Scotty, that bomb he planted. Can you
dismantle it?
[Engineering]
SCOTT: Not without being blown halfway across the
galaxy.
[Bridge]
KIRK: Give us every ounce of power you can from the
impulse drive, and find a solution to the bomb. Kirk out. Mister Sulu,
stand by to make your manoeuvres smartly. She'll be sluggish on
response.
(Elaan enters the bridge. Kirk sees her during Sulu's countdown.)
SULU: Aye, sir. One hundred thousand kilometres. Ninety. Eighty.
KIRK: Phaser crews, stand by to fire on command.
SULU: Sixty.
KIRK: Ready.
SULU: Fifty.
KIRK: Hold your fire.
SULU: She's passed us without firing a shot.
SPOCK: I don't think they meant to attack us. We were very fortunate
this time.
KIRK: Yes, their tactics are quite clear now, Mister Spock. They were
trying to make us cut in warp drive. That way we'd have blown ourselves
up and solved their problem for them without risking war with the
Federation. Very neat.
SPOCK: Very. But why do the Klingons consider the possession of this
system so vital?
KIRK: Yes, a very good question, Mister Spock.
SPOCK: I have another question, Captain. Is not the bridge the wrong
place for the Dohlman at a time like this?
KIRK: I'll be the judge. Yes, you're quite right. Thank you, Mister
Spock. (to Elaan) I want you to go to Sickbay. It's the best protected
part of the ship.
ELAAN: I want to be by your side.
KIRK: Your presence here is interfering with my efficiency, my ability
to protect you. Mister Spock, you have the conn.
[Turbolift]
KIRK: Deck five.
ELAAN: I love you. I have chosen you, and still I don't understand why
you didn't fight the Klingon.
KIRK: If I can accomplish my mission by turning tail and running, I'll
gladly do that.
ELAAN: And that mission is to take me to Troyius.
KIRK: Yes.
ELAAN: Would you have me wearing my wedding dress for another man and
never see you again?
KIRK: Yes, Elaan.
ELAAN: Are you happy at the prospect?
KIRK: No.
SCOTT [OC]: Scott to Captain.
KIRK: Kirk here.
[Engineering]
SCOTT: I've got bad news, Captain. The entire
dilithium crystal converter assembly is fused. No chance of repair.
[Turbolift]
SCOTT [OC]: It's completely unusable.
KIRK: No chance of restoring warp drive?
SCOTT [OC]: Not without dilithium crystals. We can't even generate
enough power to fire our weapons.
KIRK: Kirk out. Elaan, I have to go back to the Bridge. Please, you
must go to Sickbay.
ELAAN: Yes, my love.
[Medical lab]
CHAPEL: Test number twenty four. Colladium trioxide
in algobarium solution.
MCCOY: Results also negative.
PETRI: Doctor, there is no antidote to the poison of Elasian tears. The
men of Elas have tried desperately for centuries to dispel its power.
You're wasting your time, Doctor.
MCCOY: It is my time to waste, Ambassador.
ELAAN: Doctor? The Captain asked me to come here for safety.
PETRI: Safety? What is your estimate of our chances for survival,
Doctor?
MCCOY: That is the captain's responsibility, Ambassador.
[Bridge]
UHURA: Captain, message from the Klingon ship.
They're ordering us to stand by for boarding or be destroyed.
SPOCK: They demand an immediate reply.
KIRK: They're trying to force a fight. Scotty, what's our energy
status?
SCOTT: Ninety three percent of impulse power, sir.
SPOCK: We can still manoeuvre.
SCOTT [OC]: Manoeuvre? Aye. We can wallow like a garbage scow against a
warp-driven starship.
[Engineering]
SCOTT: Our shields will hold for a few passes, but
without the matter-antimatter reactor, we've no chance. Captain, can
you not call Starfleet on this emergency?
[Bridge]
KIRK: And let the Klingons know they succeeded in
wiping out our warp engines?
SPOCK: Help could not arrive before the Enterprise would be destroyed.
[Medical lab]
PETRI: Now that we are all about to die, I ask you
once again to accept this necklace, and to wear it as a token of
respect
for the desperate wishes of your people and mine for peace.
ELAAN: That's all you men of other worlds can speak of, duty and
responsibility.
[Bridge]
KIRK: We'll stall for time, proceed on course and
hope the Klingons can be bluffed. Or that they're not prepared for a
general war. Open a hailing frequency.
UHURA: Frequency open, sir.
KIRK: This is Captain James Kirk of the USS Enterprise on Federation
business. Our mission is peaceful, but we're not prepared to accept any
interference.
KLINGON [on viewscreen]: Enterprise, prepare to be boarded or
destroyed.
KIRK: I'd say our strategy wasn't totally effective.
SULU: Captain, the Klingon ship is closing on an intercept course. Five
hundred thousand kilometres. Deflector shields up.
KIRK: Scotty, can you give me partial power on the phaser banks?
(Elaan enters, in the blue wedding dress and wearing the necklace.)
SCOTT [OC]: No, sir, not a chance.
SULU: Three hundred thousand kilometres.
KIRK: I told you to stay in Sickbay.
ELAAN: I want to die with you.
KIRK: We're not going to die. Now get off the bridge.
SULU: One hundred thousand kilometres.
(Weapons fire hits the Enterprise)
SPOCK: He's passed us. All shields held.
KIRK: Mister Sulu, bring her to one four three mark two. Keep our
forward shields to him.
SULU: Here he comes again, sir.
KIRK: Stay with the controls. Keep our forward shields to him.
SPOCK: Better than warp seven.
KIRK: Hard over, Sulu. Bring her around. He's going for our flank.
(another disruptor hit) Sulu!
SULU: Sorry, Captain. She won't respond fast enough on impulse.
SPOCK: He's past us again. Damage to number four shield.
KIRK: How bad?
SPOCK: It will not withstand another full charge, Captain. I'm getting
some very peculiar energy readings.
SULU: He's paralleling us again. He seems to have broken off the
attack.
KIRK: What sort of readings, Mister Spock?
SPOCK: She is the source.
KIRK: Elaan?
SPOCK: The necklace.
KIRK: What kind of jewels are in this?
ELAAN: They call them radans. The necklace is supposed to bring you
luck. It is of little value. They are common stones.
SPOCK: These are common stones? (scans them) See, Captain? Here and
here.
KIRK: Common stones? Now I see why the Klingons are interested in this
system. May I have this?
ELAAN: If I can be of any help, of course.
KIRK: You may have just saved our lives. Mister Spock, do you think
Scotty could make use of dilithium crystals?
SPOCK: No doubt, Captain.
SULU: He's coming in again, sir.
KIRK: Mister Sulu, prepare on my order to turn quickly to port. Try and
protect the number four shield.
SULU: Aye, sir.
KIRK: Now, Sulu. hard a-port!
(Another disrupter hit)
SULU: Shields holding, but weakened, sir.
UHURA: Captain. Message coming in.
KLINGON [on viewscreen]: Enterprise, our readings confirm your power
extremely low, your shields buckling. This is your last chance to
surrender.
SULU: Captain, number four shield just collapsed. Impulse power down to
thirty one percent.
KIRK: Lieutenant Uhura, open a hailing frequency.
UHURA: Channel open, sir.
KIRK: This is Captain James Kirk of the United Spaceship Enterprise.
May I request your terms for surrender?
KLINGON [on viewscreen]: No terms. Surrender must be unconditional and
immediate.
KIRK: Scotty, your estimate.
[Engineering]
SCOTT: We're fitting it now, sir, but we'll have to
run a few tests to make sure.
[Bridge]
KIRK: Test it in combat.
[Engineering]
SPOCK: Captain, these are crude crystals. There is
no way to judge what the unusual shapes will do to the energy flow.
[Bridge]
SCOTT [OC]: Aye, that could blow us up just as
effectively as
KIRK: Let me know when it's in place. Open a hailing frequency.
UHURA: Hailing frequency open, sir.
KIRK: This is the Enterprise. Will you guarantee the safety of our
passenger, the Dohlman from Elas?
KLINGON [on viewscreen]: No conditions. Surrender immediately.
SULU: Captain, he's starting his run.
SCOTT [OC]: Scott to Captain.
[Engineering]
SCOTT: It's in place, sir, but I can't answer for
what happens.
[Bridge]
KIRK: You and Spock get up here. Sulu, prepare for
warp manoeuvres.
SULU: Aye, sir.
KIRK: Chekov, arm photon torpedoes.
CHEKOV: Photon torpedoes ready.
SULU: Warp power to the shields, Captain?
KIRK: Negative. His sensors will pick up our power increase. The more
helpless he thinks we are, the closer he'll come. As he passes, I want
to cut in warp drive. We'll pivot at warp two and bring all tubes to
bear.
SULU: Aye, sir.
KIRK: Mister Chekov, give him a full spread of photon torpedoes.
CHEKOV: Aye, Captain.
(Scott and Spock enter)
SULU: One hundred thousand kilometres.
KIRK: Scotty, stand by to cut in warp drive.
SCOTT: Fluctuation. It's the shape of the crystals. I was afraid of
that.
SULU: Seventy five. Seventy. Sixty. Fifty.
KIRK: Fire at minimum range.
SULU: Forty.
SCOTT: She won't steady down.
SULU: Thirty.
KIRK: Warp in, Scotty. Full power to shields.
(The Klingons fire.)
KIRK: Warp factor two. Bring us to course one four eight mark three.
(The Klingons fire again)
KIRK: Chekov, photon torpedoes. Fire!
CHEKOV: Aye, sir.
(Six torpedoes go, but not all hit the Klingons)
SULU: Direct hit amidships by photon torpedo.
SPOCK: Damage to Klingon number three shield. Number four shield
obliterated. Loss of manoeuvre power.
CHEKOV: He's badly damaged, Captain. Continuing away at reduced speed.
KIRK: Secure from general quarters. Well done, Mister Sulu. Scotty.
ELAAN: But I don't understand you. You mean you won't pursue and finish
him off?
KIRK: No. Mister Sulu, resume course for Troyius.
SULU: Aye, aye, sir.
[Transporter room]
(Kirk is already there when Petri and Elaan enter,
her bodyguards trailing behind)
ELAAN: You will not beam down for the ceremony?
KIRK: No.
ELAAN: I want you to have this as a personal memento. I have learned
that on Troyius, they do not wear such things. Remember me.
(She hands over her dagger.)
KIRK: I have no choice.
ELAAN: Nor have I. I have only responsibilities and obligations.
Goodbye.
KIRK: Goodbye. Energise.
[Bridge]
SCOTT: (to Spock) It's stabilised now.
(McCoy enters)
MCCOY: Spock, I've isolated the biochemical substance of the Elasian
tears. It's a kind of an infection, and I think I've found an antidote.
SPOCK: You are too late, Doctor. The Captain has found his own
antidote.
MCCOY: Are you out of your Vulcan mind? Do you know how long I've
worked on
SPOCK: The antidote to a woman of Elas, Doctor, is a starship. The
Enterprise infected the Captain long before the Dohlman did.
KIRK: Mister Sulu, prepare to take us out of orbit.
MCCOY: Well, I doubt seriously if there's any kind of an antidote for
the Enterprise.
SPOCK: In this particular instance, Doctor, I agree with you.
KIRK: Ahead warp factor two.
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