Part
One
[Meeting hall]
(In a wicker and wood hall, a scantily
leather-clad tribe of people meet to decide the fate of a young woman.)
CALIB: You are the leader, Andor. It is for you to decide. But there
can be but one punishment for such a heresy. Banishment.
(The leader is sitting on a throne which looks like it has some
high-tech origin.)
ANDOR: What say you, Sole?
SOLE: (old man) You know you should not ask.
ANDOR: Then it is agreed. You must be sent beyond.
TOMAS: No! She's young, she spoke rashly.
LEELA: Don't beg, Tomas. What I said was the truth.
(The tribal shaman, with bald head and metal badge of office around his
neck, steps forward.)
NEEVA: What she said profaned the holy purpose of the tribe of
Sevateem.
LEELA: Holy purpose? To die in another useless attack?
NEEVA: The great god Xoanon demands that she be cast out. He told me
this.
LEELA: Liar! There is no Xoanon.
NEEVA: Blasphemy!
ANDOR: Leela, will you take the test of the Horda?
(Leela shakes her head.)
ANDOR: Will any take it for her?
SOLE: I will.
LEELA: No. You'll be killed too.
SOLE: Be silent, daughter. You have said enough.
ANDOR: Test him.
(Two bare-chested young men take Sole away.)
LEELA: Andor, please, call them back. What I said, I was wrong. Forgive
me, please. Neeva, greatest shaman, Speaker of Law, forgive me, please.
ANDOR: Be silent, girl. Your father was a warrior. Do not shame him.
(Screams come from off camera. Leela and Tomas both use their right
hands to touch their neck, left shoulder and left hip as a form of
blessing.)
ANDOR: Outcast of the tribe of Sevateem, be gone from us.
NEEVA: Spawn of the evil one, return to your master.
ANDOR: You have until sunrise. If you are still within the boundary
then, you must be thrown to the Horda.
(Leela leaves. The tribal men gather in groups to mutter amongst
themselves, all except Tomas.)
[Forest]
(Animals call in the night, and a cybermat shaped
thing with a small forked tail slithers along the sandy ground as the
Tardis materialises amongst dead looking trees. The Doctor steps out,
looks around, and speaks to the camera.)
DOCTOR: I think this is not Hyde Park. Could be a nexial discontinuity.
Must remember to overhaul those tracers. Put a knot in my hanky.
(His hanky already has a knot in it.)
DOCTOR: I wonder what that was for. Little look round, Doctor? Why not.
(Men with crossbows are stalking Leela through what passes for a
forest. She knows this, and hides behind the fattest tree trunk she can
find to get her own crossbow loaded with a dart. One of the hunters
comes into view, and she fires. He falls. She stoops to reload and
another hunter takes aim at her, only to get a dart in the shoulder
blade before he can do so.)
LEELA: Tomas. What are you doing here?
TOMAS: I've come to take you back.
LEELA: You can't.
TOMAS: I saw Neeva send them. We can tell the council.
LEELA: It won't make any difference. Not now.
TOMAS: You can't cross the boundary.
LEELA: They didn't leave me much choice.
TOMAS: There are phantoms in the beyond.
LEELA: Feast fire stories.
TOMAS: Well, there's something there.
LEELA: Then I'll face it. I can take care of myself.
TOMAS: I'll go with you.
LEELA: No. Go back to the tribe. I'm going now. Goodbye, Tomas. Beware
of the devious Calib. One day he'll get so cunning even he won't know
what he's planned.
(Elsewhere, the Doctor is whistling 'Colonel Bogey' as he explores.
Something large growls nearby. Leela hears it too, and is afraid. She
starts to run as lianas move behind her, until she trips and falls at
the Doctor's feet.)
DOCTOR: Hello. Hello, did I startle you? Don't be afraid. I won't hurt
you.
LEELA: The Evil One.
DOCTOR: Well, nobody's perfect, but that's overstating it a little. I'm
the Doctor. What's your name?
LEELA: Leela.
DOCTOR: Leela. A nice name, Leela. I never met anyone called Leela.
Would you like a jelly baby?
LEELA: It's true, then. They say the Evil One eats babies.
DOCTOR: You mustn't believe all they say. No, these are sweets. They're
rather good. Go on, have one.
(He holds out the paper bag to her.)
DOCTOR: Go on.
(Leela takes a black jelly baby and sniffs it, then tears it in half to
eat.)
DOCTOR: Leela. Leela, either you've got four friends with very bad
colds, or we're in danger. Which is it?
LEELA: They're your creatures.
DOCTOR: They are? I wonder if they know that. What are they like?
LEELA: They can't be seen.
DOCTOR: Ah.
LEELA: They are phantoms.
DOCTOR: Invisible. We've got a chance.
(The Doctor takes what looks like a wind-up alarm clock from his
pocket, except it only has the numbers 0 to 4 on it, anticlockwise.)
LEELA: A magic talisman?
DOCTOR: No, it's a clockwork egg timer. To our friends, whatever they
are, the visible spectrum is irrelevant. They're blind. Crudely
speaking, they home in on vibrations.
(The Doctor winds it up and puts it on a large stone nearby. Leela
picks up her crossbow.)
DOCTOR: Now, Leela
LEELA: They've gone.
DOCTOR: Shush, shush, shush. I want you to do exactly as I say. You and
I are going to walk away from here very slowly and very quietly. And no
matter what happens, you mustn't cry out or make any sudden move. And
above all, you mustn't run until I tell you. Is that clear?
(Leela nods.)
DOCTOR: Good. Now come on. Come on.
(The Doctor takes Leela's hand and they carefully walk away.)
DOCTOR: Freeze.
LEELA: What?
DOCTOR: Shush!
(Big footprints appear in the sand.)
DOCTOR: Now tread carefully.
(The Doctor trips and falls flat on his face in front of the
footprints. The egg timer goes off.)
DOCTOR: Saved by the bell. Come on. Come on.
(Stones near the egg timer go flying in all directions, then the timer
is squished flat.)
[Sevateem village]
TOMAS: Calib! Calib, wait. I don't know if you're
interested, but Neeva sent two men in secret to try and kill Leela.
CALIB: I'm interested, Tomas.
TOMAS: They failed.
CALIB: Neeva is making mistakes.
TOMAS: You must call a council meeting and tell them.
CALIB: Tell them what?
TOMAS: That he broke the law.
CALIB: Oh, don't be naive, Tomas. Even if the council believed it,
don't you think Neeva would have an answer? He's the Speaker of Law.
TOMAS: There must be something we can do?
CALIB: There is. You know he's promised us victory in the raid.
TOMAS: What more would you expect?
CALIB: No, he's promised us! He says Xoanon has told him we will win.
You see what that means?
TOMAS: That he will look a fool if we don't.
CALIB: More than that. He's going to look like the charlatan he is.
Then we can move against him and that puppet, Andor.
TOMAS: Many men are going to die, Calib. We should stop the raid!
CALIB: Leela tried.
TOMAS: And she's probably dead.
[Forest]
LEELA: Stop, we're safe now. We can rest. The
creatures won't cross the boundary.
DOCTOR: How can you be sure?
LEELA: They never have. You should know that.
DOCTOR: I keep on telling you, I'm not the Evil One. Who was it saved
your life?
LEELA: You did.
DOCTOR: Yes, thank you. Never cross the boundary? You know something?
I'm sure those creatures don't stay on their side of the boundary out
of a sense of fair play. There must be a fence of some kind.
LEELA: A fence?
DOCTOR: Yes, a fence.
[Xoanon's shrine]
(This room is directly behind the meeting hall.
Neeva is relaxing on what looks suspiciously like an acceleration couch
when Tom Baker calls his name.)
XOANON [OC]: Neeva! Neeva!
(Neeva kneels down.)
NEEVA: Speak, lord, for your servant hears.
XOANON [OC]: The girl Leela has returned across the boundary. You have
failed.
NEEVA: O great god Xoanon, I have faithfully done all that you
commanded of me.
XOANON [OC]: You crawling thing, do you presume to argue?
(Neeva grovels.)
NEEVA: No, master. Forgive me.
XOANON [OC]: She and the one who is with her must be destroyed. See
that it is done.
[Forest]
(The Doctor removes a blue-green rosette plant to
reveal a piece of equipment half buried in the sand.)
DOCTOR: Got it. Low intensity sonic disrupter set in a hundred and
eighty degree spread. Simple but effective.
LEELA: Does that keep away the phantoms?
DOCTOR: Yes. It gives them a nasty headache if they go too close.
They're probably set at intervals along the whole boundary.
(He puts the plant back.)
DOCTOR: The technology's quite advanced, so you didn't put them there.
LEELA: Xoanon!
(Leela blesses herself again.)
DOCTOR: Xoanon? What's those?
LEELA: He's worshiped by the tribe.
DOCTOR: What, he's a god?
LEELA: Yes. I was cast out for speaking against him.
DOCTOR: Really.
LEELA: It's said he's held captive.
DOCTOR: By whom?
LEELA: By the Evil One and his followers, the Tesh. Maybe there is a
holy purpose. I don't know what to believe anymore.
DOCTOR: Well, that sounds healthy anyway, Leela. Never be certain of
anything. It's a sign of weakness. Now, where's this Xoanon held?
LEELA: Within the Black Wall, wherein lies Paradise.
DOCTOR: Is that just religious gobbledygook, or is that an actual
place?
LEELA: There is a Wall.
DOCTOR: Is there. Will you show me?
[Meeting hall]
ANDOR: Why has the game disappeared from the land?
Where is the love of Xoanon for his people? Where is your magic?
NEEVA: Xoanon knows there are those amongst the people who do not wish
to fight.
ANDOR: And so he starves us?
NEEVA: No, but how can he bless people who do not love him? There will
be food for those who brave the Wall in his name.
ANDOR: Men do not fight well on empty stomachs!
(Tomas enters.)
NEEVA: The Wall will be at its weakest soon. Soon you can call the
warriors and I will speak the litany.
ANDOR: Do not delay too long.
(Neeva leaves by the back door. Andor thumps the arm of his 'throne' in
anger.)
ANDOR: Well, Tomas?
TOMAS: There's something I wish to say.
ANDOR: Yes?
TOMAS: You should know that I agreed with Leela about the attack. It's
madness. Many of us will die and we shall achieve nothing.
ANDOR: Nevertheless, we shall attack.
[Outside the meeting hall]
(Neeva is eavesdropping.)
ANDOR [OC]: It is the will of Xoanon.
TOMAS [OC]: We only have Neeva's word for that.
[Meeting hall]
ANDOR: We must have faith.
TOMAS: In the word of an assassin? He sent men to try and kill Leela,
but perhaps you already knew that.
ANDOR: Watch your tongue, boy! And don't let me hear you speak against
the attack again. We shall strive to free Xoanon from the Tesh, and we
will do it together, as one people.
TOMAS: Yes, Andor.
ANDOR: Come, Tomas
(Andor and Tomas leave by the front door, as Neeva watches from the
back door.)
[Forest]
(Night is falling again.)
LEELA: Shush.
DOCTOR: What is it?
LEELA: I thought I heard something.
DOCTOR: What?
LEELA: Into cover, quick.
DOCTOR: I don't. Leela? Leela, where are you?
LEELA: Over here.
DOCTOR: What? This is no time to be playing games.
LEELA: I don't understand.
DOCTOR: You don't understand? If they're preparing for a battle,
they're hardly likely to send men on patrol on the off-chance that you
might come back.
(Two crossbow bolts thud into the tree trunk directly in front of the
Doctor. Leela is hiding behind it.)
DOCTOR: On the other hand, I could be wrong about that.
[OC]: Stand still!
DOCTOR: Oh, absolutely. (sotto) Keep down, Leela, and get moving.
LEELA: (sotto) I can't leave you. They'll kill you.
DOCTOR: (sotto): Go away. (loud) That was either very good shooting or
very bad. Either way, I wouldn't dream of moving.
(Three men with crossbows come into view.)
WARRIOR: Who are you?
DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. Who are you and why are you shooting at me?
WARRIOR: Where is Leela?
DOCTOR: Who?
WARRIOR: Spread out. She must be here somewhere.
DOCTOR: Look, would you mind if I turned round? I feel a bit silly
talking to this tree.
(The Doctor turns and walks forward, and the warrior blesses himself.)
WARRIOR: The Evil One.
DOCTOR: Oh dear, you too. Well then, tread softly, gentlemen, or I'll
turn you into toads.
(Leela starts to creep away.)
DOCTOR: That gesture you did. Yes, that's the one. It's presumably to
ward off evil. It's interesting because it's also the sequence for
checking the seals on a Starfall Seven spacesuit. And what makes that
particularly interesting is that you don't know what a Starfall Seven
spacesuit is, do you.
(The Doctor holds a jelly baby under the nose of the red-haired
warrior.)
DOCTOR: Now drop your weapons, or I'll kill him with this deadly jelly
baby.
WARRIOR: Kill him, then.
DOCTOR: What?
WARRIOR: Kill him, then.
DOCTOR: I don't take orders from anyone.
(The Doctor eats the jelly baby.)
DOCTOR: Take me to your leader.
[Meeting hall]
(The hall is already full when Andor enters and
goes to his 'throne'. Neeva is parading a piece of tech with four blue
cylinders along the top and two pipes coming out of the sides, whilst
silently muttering his incantations.)
ANDOR: Bring it forth.
(The Doctor is escorted in. He is blindfolded with his own scarf, and
his hands are tied behind his back. His captor unwraps the scarf from
his face.)
DOCTOR: Good evening. I think you're going to be very happy I came here
tonight.
(Leela is using a very large hunting knife to cut through the fabric
that makes up the back wall of Neeva's hut. She climbs through. In the
hall, we see Neeva waving his tech up and down the Doctor's body like a
Native American Medicine man.)
NEEVA: Hi ya, hi ya.
DOCTOR: I'd be careful of that if I were you. It's an ultrabeam
accelerator.
NEEVA: See how it fears the sacred relics of Xoanon.
DOCTOR: If there happens to be a charge in there, you could transform
this whole village into a smoky hole in the ground.
NEEVA: Hear how it threatens us.
DOCTOR: Yes, well, look, if you'll just untie my hands, I think I have
an idea of what's going on. I may be able to help.
NEEVA: Hear how it squirms for release. Hey, hi ya. Ah, it cannot
deceive us.
DOCTOR: Oh no, I can see you're a person of very superior intellect.
(to Andor) Are you the leader of this tribe, or his he?
ANDOR: Bring it closer.
(The Doctor is pushed forward.)
ANDOR: Will you release our god Xoanon?
DOCTOR: Well, gladly, if I was holding him prisoner, but I'm not.
ANDOR: Then you must be destroyed, that we may release him.
DOCTOR: Eh?
(Andor brings his knife up to the Doctor's throat.)
NEEVA: Wait, Andor. Call the warriors together and I will speak the
litany. Then it shall be destroyed before them and they will know that
victory is ours.
ANDOR: Very well.
NEEVA: I will prepare myself.
ANDOR: Guard, give the signal.
DOCTOR: Don't hurry on my account.
(Leela hides as Neeva enters his hut. Outside, someone is striking gong
made of a large square of metal, labelled Survey Team 6.)
ANDOR: I cannot believe it.
DOCTOR: Andor, listen to me.
ANDOR: No. No!
DOCTOR: Andor, please listen to me. I am not the Evil One. I am a
traveller, that's all. Your tribe has obviously been visited by
travellers before.
ANDOR: Before? But that is impossible.
DOCTOR: They're space travellers, Andor. Men from another world. The
whole place is littered with their equipment, their weapons and tools.
Your legend of a captive god is obviously related to them in some way.
ANDOR: Guard it well.
DOCTOR: Andor, please think about what
ANDOR: Its words are evil.
DOCTOR: Andor.
ANDOR: Do not listen to him!
(Andor leaves.)
DOCTOR: Andor, killing me isn't going to help you. It isn't going to do
me much good either, is it.
[Neeva's hut]
(Leela is listening as Neeva prays, having robed
himself with the remains of spacesuit. The helmet hangs down his back.)
NEEVA: Let the tribe of the Sevateem partake of your strength, Xoanon,
that they may inherit your kingdom. Hear thy servant Neeva. Hear the
shaman of the Sevateem. Hear my prayer.
[Meeting hall]
(The Doctor is sitting in the stalls when Neeva
enters in his regalia and goes to speak to a warrior.)
NEEVA: Lugo, when I reach the end of the litany, you know what to do.
(Leela watches from the back door.)
[Outside the meeting hall]
(The warriors kneel around Neeva. The Doctor
listens to the litany.)
NEEVA: Our fathers of the tribe of Sevateem were sent forth by God to
seek Paradise.
ALL: And still we seek.
NEEVA: They searched and found it not. While they searched, the tribe
of Tesh.
ALL: Cursed be the cowards of Tesh.
NEEVA: Remained at the place of land, betrayed our fathers.
ALL: Death to the betrayers of Tesh.
[Meeting hall]
ALL [OC]: Death to the betrayers of Tesh.
NEEVA [OC]: Made a pact with the Evil One, and God turned his face from
us.
(Leela sneaks in and stabs Lugo in the back. He slumps to his knees.)
NEEVA [OC]: And the Evil One raised the Tower of Immolo and the Black
Wall and gave them to the tribe of Tesh.
DOCTOR: How did you do that?
LEELA: Janis thorn. It paralyses, then kills. There's no cure.
ALL [OC]: Cursed be the tribe of Tesh.
DOCTOR: What?
LEELA: It was necessary.
ALL [OC]: Cursed be the tribe of Tesh.
LEELA: Come on.
[Outside the meeting hall]
NEEVA: The tribe of Tesh stand between the sons of
the tribe of Sevateem and Xoanon, god of their fathers. We must kill
the servants of the Evil One.
ALL: Kill the Tesh. Kill the Tesh!
[Meeting hall]
ALL [OC]: Kill the Tesh!
DOCTOR: No, listen. Listen.
LEELA: We haven't got time to listen.
ALL [OC]: Kill the Tesh!
LEELA: They're coming to the bit about killing the Evil One, and that's
you! Have you forgotten?
NEEVA [OC]: Now is the time when the Sevateem shall rise in their
wrath.
DOCTOR: Do you know this litany?
LEELA: Of course. We're taught it as children.
ALL [OC]: In the name of Xoanon.
DOCTOR: Good. Then let's go, and don't dawdle.
[Outside the meeting hall]
NEEVA: And kill their master, the Evil One!
[Meeting hall]
(Two warriors enter.)
ALL [OC]: Destroy it. Destroy it! Destroy it!
WARRIOR: It's escaped! The Evil One's escaped!
(Leela shows the Doctor the way out through Neeva's back wall, which
means that his room is actually a back room to the meeting hall, and
not separate.)
NEEVA: Find it! Find it! Search everywhere!
[Xoanon's shrine]
WARRIOR 2: Here! It's here!
[Sevateem village]
(The Doctor gets out just in time. The warrior
sticks his head through the fabric and Leela stabs him with a thorn.
She spreads his arms out as they stiffen, so he cannot be pulled back
into the room.)
DOCTOR: That wasn't necessary. Who licensed you to slaughter people? No
more Janis thorns, you understand? Ever.
[Outside the meeting hall]
ANDOR: He must be recaptured. It is imperative.
TOMAS: Right, Andor.
ANDOR: Take four men and search beyond the village.
CALIB: Quickly. Quickly!
[Forest]
DOCTOR: This way.
LEELA: No, this way.
DOCTOR: What?
LEELA: This way.
[Xoanon's shrine]
CALIB: Neeva! Neeva!
NEEVA: Well?
CALIB: It got away, with Leela's help.
NEEVA: Devil-spawned witch.
CALIB: They will be found. Andor's organising search parties.
NEEVA: It's too late. Tell him the attack must not be delayed.
[Clearing]
DOCTOR: Well now, it seems I have been here
before.
LEELA: That's the Evil One.
DOCTOR: Is it.
(A large rock face has a carving of the Doctor's face on it.)
DOCTOR: I must have made quite an impression.
Part Two
[Clearing]
LEELA: What happened? You must be able to
remember.
DOCTOR: Well, of course I can remember. I'm trying to. Perhaps I was on
another part of the planet.
LEELA: There is no other part. Only beyond the Wall.
DOCTOR: Beyond the Wall. I wonder.
LEELA: What?
DOCTOR: Shush, shush, shush. I'm wondering. Back to the village.
LEELA: We can't!
DOCTOR: Why not?
LEELA: We'll be torn to pieces!
DOCTOR: Not if they don't catch us, we won't. Anyway, they'll be
preparing for their battle.
LEELA: That's what you said last time.
DOCTOR: Well, you can't expect perfection, you know. Not even from me.
LEELA: (silent) Oh, you.
[Meeting hall]
ANDOR: The men refuse to attack while the Evil One
is out there.
NEEVA: I have been thinking. We tell them it has been destroyed.
ANDOR: No! I will not lie to my people.
NEEVA: The Wall will be open for a very short time. We dare not delay.
We must attack now, or you betray our god.
ANDOR: Has Xoanon commanded this?
NEEVA: He has.
ANDOR: Guard, sound the call.
(The guard leaves.)
ANDOR: You had better be right, Neeva, because servant of Xoanon or
not, if we fail, I will kill you.
NEEVA: Xoanon has promised us victory.
ANDOR: No. He has promised you. And you have promised us.
[Outside Xoanon's
shrine]
(Where Leela cut through the wall fabric.)
DOCTOR: (sotto) I must examine those relics.
LEELA: (sotto) The village was dangerous enough, but the shrine of
Xoanon?
[Xoanon's shrine]
(The Doctor watches, unseen.)
NEEVA: Speak to me, Xoanon, that I may know your will. Speak, Xoanon.
Speak.
WARRIOR [OC]: Shaman Neeva! It's time to leave!
NEEVA: I'm coming.
WARRIOR: Andor asks that you do not delay.
NEEVA: I said I'm coming!
(Neeva puts his spacesuit back on its stand, puts on another coat made
of old bits of spaceship and a helmet fashioned from a spacesuit
glove.)
[Outside Xoanon's
shrine]
DOCTOR: I like the hat. Very fetching.
LEELA: That was the Hand of Xoanon.
DOCTOR: That was an armoured space glove, or what was left of one.
[Meeting room]
ANDOR: The attack must begin at once.
NEEVA: Xoanon has spoken. We shall not fail.
[Xoanon's shrine]
DOCTOR: It's all clear.
(He goes to the tables of relics.)
DOCTOR: Amazing. You know, I had a feeling, I had a feeling that Neeva
was actually expecting to hear an answer to his prayer.
LEELA: There wouldn't be much point in praying if he didn't.
DOCTOR: I could quote you a few theologians who'd give you an argument
on that. He was listening.
(The Doctor picks up a blue tube and presses a button on the side.)
DOCTOR: Hello? Intergalactic Operator? Hello? Over? Dead as a Dalek.
There must be something.
LEELA: Why did you talk to that tube?
DOCTOR: I thought I recognised it.
(The Doctor goes to the stand and taps the spacesuit helmet, then turns
away.)
XOANON [OC]: Neeva.
(Leela drops to her knees, hands over her ears.)
XOANON: Neeva!
DOCTOR: Poor old Neeva. Hotline to god. Psst. Don't be afraid. It's
only a machine for sending voices over long distances. That may be
Xoanon speaking, but it's not God. Gods don't use transceivers.
LEELA: Are you certain?
DOCTOR: Aren't you?
LEELA: Yes.
DOCTOR: That's better.
XOANON [OC]: Neeva. Neeva.
DOCTOR: I'm sorry, Neeva isn't here at the moment. Could I take a
message? Over.
XOANON [OC]: At last we are here. At last. At last. Us.
DOCTOR: Us?
XOANON [OC]: You. Me. Us. We. At last I shall be free of us.
DOCTOR: Who are you?
XOANON [OC]: Don't I know?
(The Doctor backs away.)
DOCTOR: Leela, I have a feeling. Something nasty. Something I did. It
seems like it.
LEELA: What are you talking about?
DOCTOR: Who did that voice remind you of?
LEELA: You. It was your voice. How could that be?
DOCTOR: More to the point, who could that be? I must take a look at the
Wall.
[The Wall]
(As Andor leads his warriors, both men and women,
through the forest, Leela and the Doctor stand in front of a shimmering
something.)
DOCTOR: It's a time barrier.
LEELA: I don't understand.
DOCTOR: The principle's really quite simple. You just move everything
forward a couple of seconds inside it. You get a barrier that's
impervious to all energy. A true void. I've seen it done as a parlour
trick, but never on this scale.
LEELA: Isn't there any way to get through it?
DOCTOR: Not unless whoever set it up deliberately bridged it.
LEELA: So that means Andor and the others
DOCTOR: Are walking into a trap, yes.
LEELA: Isn't there any way we can warn them?
DOCTOR: It's too late. Anyway, they wouldn't listen.
LEELA: Calib might. Let's try.
[Forest edge]
ANDOR: Attack!
(The warriors start firing crossbow bolts before moving forward.)
ANDOR: Come on, attack!
TOMAS: Attack!
ALL: Attack! Attack!
(But Calib hangs back.)
NEEVA: Xoanon, protect your warriors and strengthen their arms, that
they may free you.
TOMAS: Attack!
(A beam of light shines down on Neeva, giving him pain and forcing him
to his knees. Other warriors fall too.)
[Meeting hall]
LEELA: Someone's coming.
(Leela hides, but the Doctor stands in the open.)
DOCTOR: Hello, Calib. I was just thinking about you.
CALIB: So Neeva and Andor were lying.
DOCTOR: I wouldn't be surprised.
CALIB: Where's Leela?
LEELA: Behind you.
CALIB: Ah.
DOCTOR: How was the battle?
CALIB: Just as the old ones remembered the last time. The Wall closed
up.
LEELA: A massacre?
CALIB: More than half the men were killed, and we never even saw the
Tesh.
LEELA: You seem unhurt.
CALIB: There's no virtue in dying, Leela.
LEELA: That rather depends on what you do to avoid it.
DOCTOR: Leela, put the knife away. I'm sure he's a reasonable man.
CALIB: Thank you. So what do you want of me?
LEELA: We need someone's help.
DOCTOR: Leela seems to think it might be yours.
LEELA: The tribe is in desperate danger, Calib. The Doctor can help.
He's the only one who can. But we must convince the others he's not the
Evil One.
DOCTOR: Having first of all, of course, convinced you.
CALIB: I don't think you're the Evil One, and never have. I don't
believe in ghosts.
DOCTOR: I'm impressed. Perhaps Leela's right about you.
CALIB: But if I'm to help, I need to know everything.
DOCTOR: There isn't much time. You see, Leela and I found an
impenetrable barrier
(Calib stabs a Janis thorn into Leela's hand and draws his knife.)
CALIB: Janis thorn. Something you haven't thought of. Now stay where
you are.
DOCTOR: I thought you were too easily convinced.
CALIB: I meant it. You're certainly not the Evil One, but the others
think you are. Neeva said you'd been destroyed. You're just the
evidence I need to break him.
DOCTOR: She underestimated your ambition.
CALIB: It's for the good of the tribe.
DOCTOR: Of course. This too.
CALIB: She would have opposed me. I said stay where you are!
DOCTOR: You need me alive, remember?
(Tomas bursts in.)
TOMAS: Calib, you held back! You cost us the attack!
(Calib is distracted. The Doctor kicks his leg out from under him and
grabs Leela's crossbow.)
DOCTOR: Come in. Who are you?
TOMAS: Tomas. Leela! What have you done to her?
DOCTOR: He poisoned her with a Janis thorn. Up!
CALIB: You've broken my leg.
DOCTOR: I'll break your nose if you don't get up. Now pick her up, both
of you.
CALIB: It takes skill to use one of those.
DOCTOR: What, at this range? No, all it needs is a flick of the wrist.
Pick her up.
(Tomas and Calib lift the rigid Leela between them.)
DOCTOR: And move.
[Xoanon's shrine]
(They put her on the acceleration couch.)
DOCTOR: Gently.
CALIB: Now what are you going to do?
DOCTOR: Tomas, you don't want her to die, do you?
TOMAS: No, of course not.
DOCTOR: Then cover him. I need time to work.
(Tomas takes the crossbow from the Doctor, who turns to the relics.)
DOCTOR: This is a bioanalyser, rattlesnake. I can identify the poison
and programme the medikit to make an antitoxin.
TOMAS: Back against the wall.
CALIB: I'm going to give the alarm.
TOMAS: Back against the wall!
CALIB: Oh, don't be a fool, Tomas!
(The Doctor takes the thorn from Leela's hand and puts a sample into
the analyser. He notes the results and goes to another piece of
equipment.)
CALIB: What do you suppose he's doing, Tomas? You don't really think
that's going to help Leela, poking around in Neeva's relics?
DOCTOR: Shut up, rattlesnake. I'm trying to save time. Leela hasn't got
much left.
(The analyser produces a printout which the Doctor puts into the
medikit.)
TOMAS: I think she's dead.
DOCTOR: Got it!
TOMAS: He's gone!
DOCTOR: Watch the door.
(The Doctor presses the mini-hypo into Leela's palm. After a few
moments, she blinks, then moves her head.)
LEELA: Doctor?
DOCTOR: Are you all right?
LEELA: The Janis thorn. There's no cure.
DOCTOR: Yes, there is. Just a matter of finding one.
LEELA: Do you know the answer to everything?
DOCTOR: Yes. Well, no, no. Answers are easy. It's asking the right
questions that is hard.
TOMAS: They're coming.
DOCTOR: Can you move?
LEELA: I think so. My arm hurts a bit.
DOCTOR: Tomas, take her out of the back way.
LEELA: I'm staying with you.
DOCTOR: You're going with Tomas. I'll meet you both later. Go.
[Meeting hall]
DOCTOR: Good evening, gentlemen. You know, I never
thought you'd get here. Good heavens, look at that.
(They all look behind them, and the Doctor sits on the 'throne'.)
DOCTOR: Now then, down to business. I'm beginning to think you don't
like me. Ah, Neeva. Is it really you? They told me you were dead. Or
was it the other way round?
[Outside Xoanon's
shrine]
ANDOR: So Calib was right. Both of you in league
with the Evil One.
TOMAS: You blind, blind fool, Andor.
[Meeting hall]
(Leela, the Doctor and Tomas have their hands tied
behind them, and Andor is back on his 'throne'.)
WARRIOR: You lied to us!
MAN: Come on, Neeva, tell them your mistake.
ANDOR: Silence! Be silent!
WARRIOR: You said it was destroyed!
NEEVA: Did it not bring the witch, its servant, to life? I tell you it
was destroyed, but not totally, so it renewed itself.
DOCTOR: Ha! If you can believe that, you can believe anything. I'll
tell you once again. I am not the Evil One.
ANDOR: But it was you, you who wiped out the attack.
DOCTOR: Oh, flapdoodle! I was nowhere near it.
LEELA: That's true. I was with him all the time.
NEEVA: Pah! Would you believe a witch?
DOCTOR: The attack failed because it was a trap from the start.
NEEVA: And who would have set such a trap?
LEELA: Xoanon!
TOMAS: Oh, that was a great mistake.
NEEVA: They must all be totally destroyed. Throw them to the Horda!
DOCTOR: What do you mean, throw them? What is a Horda, anyway?
CALIB: No, wait! I do not believe he is the Evil One.
LEELA: Conscience?
DOCTOR: No, politics. He's trying to break Neeva's hold on the tribe.
CALIB: If he can be killed, then he is not the Evil One, because the
Evil One is a god.
DOCTOR: Good point. Fifteen love.
NEEVA: The litany says it can be destroyed.
DOCTOR: Fifteen all.
CALIB: I say we should put it to the test and see if he speaks truly.
ANDOR: But the test is for mortals.
CALIB: If he can be killed then he is a mortal!
DOCTOR: Game, set and match to Calib, I think.
[By the Horda pit]
(We get a better look at one of those things from
the top of the show. It has a little tongue sticking out, a horny plate
on its head, tiny insect wings at the top of its segmented body.)
DOCTOR: So that's a Horda. Well, it doesn't look to formidable. What do
I do, fight it or eat it?
(Calib holds out a stick and the Horda sinks its sharp little teeth
into it. A sort of land piranha.)
CALIB: They'll strike at anything that moves, except each other. Ten of
these can strip the flesh from a man's arm almost before he can cry
out.
DOCTOR: I take it there are more than ten in there.
ANDOR: The pit is full of them.
DOCTOR: Ah.
CALIB: You stand on that.
(A waist high wall made from bits of spaceship with a cover of
interlocking planks.)
DOCTOR: And then what?
(Calib hands him a crossbow.)
CALIB: You must break the rope.
LEELA: Doctor, the rope gets thinner the further it goes, but it gets
faster too.
DOCTOR: What? The rope gets thinner the further it goes
LEELA: Faster.
DOCTOR: But it gets faster too. The rope gets thinner the further it
goes
(A warrior slaps Leela.)
WARRIOR: Silence. He does it alone.
DOCTOR: Who is that man?
CALIB: Which man?
DOCTOR: That man.
(The Doctor snatches Calib's stick with the Horda still clamped onto
the end, and hits the warrior with it. The Horda bites his shoulder
instead and he runs screaming into the dark.)
DOCTOR: Sorry about that. Shall we get on with it?
(The Doctor climbs onto the pit hatch.)
DOCTOR: Well?
CALIB: Let the test begin.
(A man pulls a lever and a large rock begins to drop, pulling the
planks apart. That's the rope they were talking about. Now we see the
teeming horde of hungry Horda underneath. The Doctor turns to shoot at
the rope as Leela tries to free her hands. He takes his time, checking
the sights. Leela breaks free and gets as far as the lever before)
MAN 2: Stop!
(He has her in his crossbow sights. The Doctor quickly shoots through
the rope and the rock splashes into water.)
DOCTOR: Very good, Doctor. Very good. Well, are you convinced now?
Leela, that was very nice of you to try and help me, but really there
was absolutely no need. Would you just release our friend, please?
LEELA: Where did you learn to shoot like that?
DOCTOR: Shoot like what? Oh, like that. In Switzerland. Charming man.
William Tell, he was called. Well?
CALIB: Untie him.
DOCTOR: Good.
[Xoanon's shrine]
(The Doctor enters to see Neeva standing by the
spacesuit helmet. The voice is a man's but not Tom Baker's. )
XOANON 2 [OC]: Neeva. Neeva, where is he? Doctor? Doctor, are you
there?
DOCTOR: Yes, I'm here, Xoanon.
XOANON [OC]: Ah, good. Good. We have decided
XOANON 2 [OC]: To destroy you.
DOCTOR: I see, Xoanon. Why don't we get together and talk things over?
(He gathers some things from the relics table, including rope and
gaffer tape.)
XOANON: We are together. We have said all there is to say and know all
there is to know.
DOCTOR: Now we don't want to do anything hasty, do we?
XOANON: Hasty? It's been
XOANON 2: An eternity. I'm turning off the boundary to let in my pets
from beyond. Goodbye, Doctor.
NEEVA: What does it all mean?
DOCTOR: It means trouble. Large, deadly and invisible.
(Out in the forest, the sonic disrupters switch off.)
[Meeting hall]
(The Doctor is working on an assortment of
relics.)
DOCTOR: Screwdriver.
(Calib offer the wrong item, the Doctor takes the right one. Tomas and
Leela enter.)
TOMAS: We've set the guards round the perimeter.
LEELA: Everyone knows what to expect.
DOCTOR: Good. Did you explain about their attraction to vibrations?
LEELA: Of course.
DOCTOR: You know, we're very lucky they carried these things. Let's
hope we can profit from the misfortunes of those travellers.
LEELA: I don't understand.
DOCTOR: I mean the planetary survey teams. That's where your tribe got
its name from. Sevateem, survey team. The question is, were you here
before them?
CALIB: Are we their captors or their children?
DOCTOR: You catch on quickly. Certainly they never returned to base.
CALIB: Is the weapon ready?
DOCTOR: Why, are you taking charge here?
CALIB: Do you object?
LEELA: I object.
CALIB: Leela, I don't expect you to like me.
LEELA: Then you won't be disappointed.
DOCTOR: Tomas, take this.
(A small gun-like object.)
TOMAS: How does it work?
DOCTOR: You just point it and press it. It's destructive up to about
twenty times bow range. Short bursts, Tomas. It's self-regenerating but
it takes time to recharge.
TOMAS: Thank you, Doctor.
[Outside the village]
(Leela sharpens her knife on a rock as the Doctor
sets a squat cylinder humming.)
DOCTOR: There. That should keep Xoanon's creatures on their side of the
perimeter. Now, you and I have got to get inside that time barrier and
soon.
LEELA: According to the old ones, the tribe has had seven attempts at
that.
DOCTOR: I could build a time bridge myself, but that would mean
dismantling the Tardis and then it mightn't work.
LEELA: Doctor.
DOCTOR: Yes.
LEELA: You know you said nothing could get within that barrier?
DOCTOR: Yes.
LEELA: Not light or anything.
DOCTOR: No.
LEELA: But Xoanon is inside it.
DOCTOR: Yes.
LEELA: How do we hear his voice?
DOCTOR: Well, it's quite simple. We. You're a genius. A genius.
LEELA: What did I say?
[Xoanon's shrine]
(Neeva is sitting on the couch, in a trance.)
DOCTOR: Come on, Neeva. Neeva! Come on, snap out of it, man.
NEEVA: Yes, lord. What is your will?
DOCTOR: Neeva.
(The Doctor turns off the space helmet transceiver.)
DOCTOR: Neeva, when you hear the voice of Xoanon, is it when you're at
the altar, or when the vestment is hanging in its frame?
NEEVA: Yes, master.
DOCTOR: Have you heard it anywhere else?
NEEVA: Yes, master.
DOCTOR: Where?
NEEVA: Yes, master.
(The Doctor cups his hands over his mouth and shouts.)
DOCTOR: Neeva! Neeva! This is Xoanon.
(Leela enters.)
DOCTOR: Where have you heard my voice?
NEEVA: Only here, lord, in your shrine.
DOCTOR: You've been a good and faithful servant, Neeva. Go back to
sleep now.
(Neeva falls backwards on the couch.)
DOCTOR: It is a tight beam transmission. There's a bridge over the time
barrier and I know where it is.
LEELA: What happened to him?
DOCTOR: Too much too quickly.
(He switches on the transceiver again.)
DOCTOR: This time I have to admit defeat.
LEELA: (sotto) Doctor.
DOCTOR: (sotto) Shush. Xoanon.
[Forest]
(The invisible monsters attack a guard. The gong
is sounded.)
LEELA: The fools.
DOCTOR: They must have panicked.
LEELA: That'll attract the creatures.
DOCTOR: Yes. Come on, we haven't got much time.
[By the gong]
(Andor takes the hammer from the gong man.)
ANDOR: Idiot, you'll attract more of them!
WARRIOR: Something killed Korus. I saw it, over there.
[By the carving]
(Right up against the sculpture of the Doctor.)
DOCTOR: The nose could be a shade more aquiline, and the noble
proportion of the brow hasn't been perfectly executed. Still, we
mustn't complain. We live in an imperfect universe.
LEELA: Where's the bridge through the barrier? Up the nose?
DOCTOR: No, it isn't! Up the nose. It's over the teeth and down the
throat.
(Because the mouth is slightly open.)
[Forest]
ANDOR: Tomas. Tomas! I think I can hear something.
TOMAS: Andor! Come back!
[In the carving's mouth]
(The Doctor and Leela climb over the teeth.)
DOCTOR: Odd feeling.
LEELA: What is?
DOCTOR: Standing in my own throat is.
(A passageway leads on, but a shadow moves against a lit section of its
wall.)
LEELA: What is it?
[Forest]
(Andor is attacked.)
TOMAS: Andor, look out!
(Tomas fires the weapon, which lights up an image of the Doctor's angry
face.)
TOMAS: Andor.
ANDOR: Xoanon, save me!
(Andor dies.)
(Tomas fires the weapon again, and again, and again.)
Part Three
[Forest]
CALIB: Tomas! Tomas! Over here!
(Tomas runs back to where Calib is crouching behind a tree.)
CALIB: What was it?
TOMAS: The Evil One. It's huge. It got Andor.
CALIB: So I'm the leader now.
TOMAS: How well will you lead us, Calib? There are more of those things
coming.
CALIB: But the gun worked?
TOMAS: Yes. It revealed the Evil One's face, drove him away.
CALIB: Right, we must get back to the village. If we stay quiet it
might pass by.
TOMAS: I doubt it.
[Inside the rock carving]
(A shadow continues to move against the 'throat'
passage wall.)
LEELA: Doctor, what is it?
DOCTOR: There's only one way to find out.
(They start down the passage, and see a figure in a space suit. The
Doctor pulls Leela back out of sight. A red light envelopes the figure
and it walks through the wall.)
LEELA: It's gone. Where's it gone?
(The Doctor goes to the end of the passageway and looks out across a
plain to where a spaceship stands.)
DOCTOR: I remember now. The Mordee expedition. And I thought I was
helping them.
LEELA: Doctor, what are you doing? Will you please help me find this
Tesh?
DOCTOR: Tesh? How did you know it was a Tesh? Have you ever seen a
Tesh?
LEELA: Well, the skin was loose and shiny, as we're told, and it had
two heads, one inside the other.
DOCTOR: That was a protective suit and helmet. Must be another
environment through there.
(The red light covers the Doctor and he walks through the wall.)
DOCTOR [OC]: Come on then.
LEELA: It's a solid wall!
DOCTOR [OC]: It's an illusion, called a psy-tri projection. Combination
of a three dimensional image which acts on the eye. Close your eyes.
(Leela closes one eye.)
DOCTOR [OC]: Both of them. Take one step back.
(Leela is covered in the red light.)
DOCTOR [OC]: Now walk forward.
LEELA [OC]: Great Xoanon! Where are we?
DOCTOR [OC]: It's called an anti-grav transporter. Just sit in it and
it takes us straight to the ship in absolutely no time at all.
[Computer complex]
(Panels around the hexagonal walls have moving
green light images on them. Off centre is an elegant stand holding a
large globe in a claw.)
XOANON 2: We are returned. We are here. Voices overlap.
XOANON: We are here. We are returned.
XOANON 2: Now we shall be one.
XOANON 3: We are here.
XOANON: We are returned.
XOANON 3: We are here. We are returned.
XOANON: Now we shall be one.
XOANON 2: Now we must destroy us.
XOANON: Now we shall be one.
XOANON 2: We are returned, we are here.
XOANON 3: Now we must destroy us.
ALL: One, one, one.
[Control room]
(The Doctor and Leela enter a room lit with
candles.)
DOCTOR: Another shrine. Seems the Tesh are as ignorant of their origins
as your people are.
LEELA: What are their origins?
DOCTOR: How does the litany go? That bit about Paradise. Leela, you
said you knew it. You said you were taught it as children.
LEELA: I do, I do. Wait a minute. The Sevateem were sent forth by God
DOCTOR: Slowly, slowly.
LEELA: The Sevateem were sent forth by God to seek Paradise. The Tesh
remained at the place of land.
DOCTOR: Yes, exactly. That means the Sevateem explored the planet,
while the Tesh remained to work in the ship in the place where it
landed. Here.
LEELA: We're the same people?
DOCTOR: Yes, the Sevateem were the survey teams and the Tesh were the
technicians. You're all human beings from this colony ship.
LEELA: So what happened? Doctor, what happened?
DOCTOR: I'm rather afraid I did. I misunderstood what Xoanon was.
LEELA: Xoanon? You mean
DOCTOR: At the time, I didn't think he was a being at all. These
terminals are dead.
(Three figures enter, unseen, and one starts bowing to the Doctor's
back.)
LEELA: What did you think he was?
(The lights come on. The three men wear mostly green full body clothing
with padded shoulder detail, and a cap.)
JABEL: Welcome, Lord.
DOCTOR: Hello!
(The newcomer stares at Leela, who has the crossbow pointed at him. She
sinks to her knees.)
DOCTOR: Are you doing that? Will you please stop doing that? I said
stop!
(Leela lies on the floor, unconscious.)
DOCTOR: What have you done to her?
JABEL: She is not damaged. My acolytes will attend to her.
(The other two pick Leela up and carry her out.)
DOCTOR: But where are they taking her?
JABEL: She will be tended. We recognise her value, Lord.
(He kneels.)
DOCTOR: Have you dropped something?
JABEL: I do you honour, Lord of Time. We've waited long for your
return.
DOCTOR: Yes, well, I'm very grateful about the honour, but it's really
information I need. Please get up. What's your name?
JABEL: I am Jabel, Captain of the people of Tesh.
DOCTOR: Ah.
(The Doctor kneels next to Jabel, who bows lower.)
DOCTOR: Jabel, do your people have a holy purpose?
JABEL: We serve Xoanon and tend the holy places. We guard his tower
against the savage. We deny the flesh so that our minds may find
communion with Xoanon.
DOCTOR: Ah. Well, it has a sort of logic. Outside the barrier, physical
courage and strength, inside the barrier, paraphysical achievement and
the sort of psi power you used against Leela. It's an experiment in
eugenics.
JABEL: Yes, Lord.
DOCTOR: Shall we get up? The floor's very hard. Didn't anyone ever tell
you kneeling stunts the growth? Jabel, do you know where Xoanon is?
JABEL: Yes, Lord.
DOCTOR: Where?
JABEL: He is in no one place, Lord. He is all around us, everywhere.
DOCTOR: All right, I didn't think you did.
JABEL: You and he are as one. You will show us the way
DOCTOR: Do you know what a computer is?
JABEL: And in perfect communion with him, we will be free and find
Paradise.
DOCTOR: Do you know what a computer is?
JABEL: Lord?
(The Doctor lifts the cloth of part of a console that forms the altar.)
DOCTOR: Now I have to find that thing before it kills us all.
[Particle analyser room]
(Leela wakes to find herself fastened to a sloping
metal platform. A monitor is counting down through 824.)
WOMAN [OC]: Final warning. Final warning. Particle analyser terminal
phase countdown. All personnel clear the area.
[Control room]
(The Doctor keeps trying controls on the row of
consoles.)
DOCTOR: This whole control room's been disconnected, Jabel. It could
take me days to find the complex.
(The Doctor turns away, and a wall monitor lights up, showing Leela's
peril.)
DOCTOR: I must be slipping. Jabel, where's the Holy of Holies?
JABEL: All the place of Land is holy.
DOCTOR: But there must be somewhere on the ship?
JABEL: Ship?
DOCTOR: Yes. Somewhere where no one's allowed to go.
JABEL: Yes, Lord. The Sacred Chamber.
DOCTOR: Yes. Where is it?
JABEL: It is on level three seven.
DOCTOR: Jabel, thank you. I
(The Doctor spots the monitor.)
DOCTOR: Jabel. Jabel, that's Leela.
JABEL: Yes, Lord. Particle analysis. We will reduce the subject to its
constituent atoms.
DOCTOR: Particle analysis?
JABEL: Yes, Lord.
DOCTOR: It will kill her.
JABEL: Yes, Lord. She is a savage.
DOCTOR: What? That's not a good enough reason!
JABEL: The savages have the power to open the barrier. Particle
analysis may tell us how they do it. Surely that is why you brought her
to us?
DOCTOR: The savages don't open the barrier, you lack-brain! Xoanon
does. Do you understand that? Xoanon does!
JABEL: You lie!
DOCTOR: Give the order to stop that particle analyser.
JABEL: You are not the Lord of Time come again to save us!
DOCTOR: Will you give that order?
JABEL: You are not the Lord of Time!
DOCTOR: Right, then I'll do it myself.
(The Doctor takes a small mirror from his pocket and heads for the
door, but Jabel's psychic powers stop him leaving and he falls on his
face to the floor.)
[Particle analyser room]
(Now there are two metal platforms, lined up head
to head, with subjects for analysis. The countdown has reached 38.)
LEELA: Doctor? Doctor, wake up. Please, wake up! Please!
(31, 30)
LEELA: Doctor!
(The Doctor wakes and looks around. 25.)
DOCTOR: Close your eyes.
(The Doctor angles the mirror in his hand towards the analyser in the
ceiling above them. 05, 04 ... 01, 00. A red light pulses down into the
middle where the platforms meet, then moves left and pulses down
between the Doctor's shackled wrists. He manages to reflect part of it
back up where it destroys itself. The shackles release and they get
up.)
DOCTOR: Be thankful you're living, and trust to your luck, and march to
your front like a soldier. Gertrude Stein
(Actually, it's The
Young British Soldier, by Rudyard Kipling.)
LEELA: I think you've broken it.
DOCTOR: To be strictly accurate, it broke itself. All I did was reflect
some of the power back into it. Still, I don't suppose its owners will
see it that way. Come on, we'd better go.
[Control room]
(Two men enter. They all bow in greeting.)
GENTEK: They have escaped, Captain.
JABEL: They must be found and killed. This must take precedence over
all other duties and devotions.
GENTEK: He is not the Lord of Time, the one who will return.
JABEL: He is our enemy, and the enemy of Xoanon. Kill him and the
savage.
(Gentek and his companion leave. The doors slide close behind them
automatically. Jabel thumps a console, hard.)
[Corridor]
(A pair of armed Tesh walk round the corner of a
white walled corridor, with mirrored walls on the inside, then turn and
leave.)
DOCTOR: Looking for something.
LEELA: Us?
DOCTOR: Oh, probably, probably.
LEELA: Doctor, what is Xoanon?
DOCTOR: A machine that's become a living creature. An old mission
computer with schizophrenia. Not a very pretty thought, is it. Not my
fault.
(They round the corner to an intersection.)
LEELA: How is it your fault?
DOCTOR: When I was here before, I programmed Xoanon for the Mordee.
Unfortunately I forgot to wipe my personality print from the data core.
Or did I really forget? I forget if I forgot.
LEELA: You're not making yourself very clear, Doctor.
DOCTOR: It may have been my own egotism. Anyway, now it has a split
personality and half of it is mine. Is that clear?
LEELA: No.
DOCTOR: Well, come on, then.
(A round CCTV camera watches them go.)
[Computer complex]
(The Doctor and Leela are visible in the globe.)
XOANON 3: Us within us. We shall make two one.
(Xoanon laughs.)
[Forest]
(Tomas has been overusing the weapon, and it runs
out of power.)
TOMAS: Calib! Calib!
CALIB: What is it?
TOMAS: The power's used up.
CALIB: Right, we must fall back. Get them moving, Tomas.
TOMAS: Right.
CALIB: Move!
TOMAS: Back! Back to the village.
CALIB: Come on. Everybody, quickly.
TOMAS: Move! Move! Back, quickly!
[Communications room]
(The Doctor and Leela step over the threshold into
a room with equipment in it.)
DOCTOR: Shut the door.
LEELA: How? Doctor, where are we?
DOCTOR: An auxiliary communications room.
(And these consoles have power. He switches on and one monitor shows
the Sevateem retreating through the forest.)
DOCTOR: Ah.
LEELA: It's the village. The creatures must have got through the
boundary.
DOCTOR: Looks like it. They're psi-tri projections from the dark side
of Xoanon's id with enough kinetic energy to kill. Looks as if your
friends are running out of time.
LEELA: I'm going back to help them.
DOCTOR: Don't be absurd. What do you think you can do about it? If I
can arrange it, they'll be safer inside the barrier.
LEELA: Do you mean here, inside the wall? What about the Tesh?
DOCTOR: I didn't say safe, I said safer.
(The Doctor picks up the blue tube microphone.)
DOCTOR: Neeva? Neeva? Neeva, are you there? Come on, wake up!
NEEVA [OC]: Yes, master.
DOCTOR: Neeva, this is Xoanon.
NEEVA [OC]: What is your will?
DOCTOR: Tell Calib to lead the tribe through the mouth of the idol.
[Xoanon's shrine]
NEEVA: Through the mouth of the idol.
DOCTOR [OC]: That is my order. See that it is done.
NEEVA: Will Calib believe me?
DOCTOR [OC]: Say these words to him. I don't believe in ghosts either.
NEEVA: I don't believe in ghosts either.
[Communications room]
DOCTOR: Go now, and do my will.
NEEVA [OC]: Yes, Doctor.
DOCTOR: I underestimated that man. Come on, we've got an appointment on
level thirty seven.
[Control room]
GENTEK: They cannot be found.
JABEL: Continue the search. Gentek, is the guard posted outside the
Sacred Heart?
GENTEK: Yes, Captain.
[Level 37]
(A single guard patrols outside a door kindly
labelled 37. The Doctor takes his hat from his pocket.)
DOCTOR: (silent) Hold that.
(The Doctor sneaks round the warren of short corridors to behind the
guard, while Leela goes forward slightly.)
LEELA: Psst.
(And hold the Doctor's hat out where the guard can see it. He moves to
investigate. She pulls it out of sight and the Doctor goes past the
guard's back, then the man arrives at Leela's position. She grabs his
weapon arm and throws him onto his back. The landing knocks him out.
The Doctor retrieves his hat without a word. Leela picks up the guard's
weapon, which is exactly like the one the Doctor made for Tomas. They
go to the door.)
DOCTOR: Keep watch.
LEELA: Can't I come with you?
DOCTOR: Xoanon's unstable. He might kill me. He'd certainly kill you.
Anyway, we need someone on guard.
LEELA: Doctor, be careful.
[At the carving's mouth]
CALIB: The tunnel's here. Right, come on.
(He leads Tomas and another villager in over the teeth and goes down
the passage then turns, not seeing the Tesh appear behind him.)
TOMAS: Calib!
(Tomas throws his knife, getting the Tesh right in the middle of his
chest. Calib gives Tomas the weapon.)
CALIB: Where there's one Tesh there's likely to be more.
TOMAS: Those creatures, they're moving in on us fast. Now we've got to
get the men inside the barrier, and quickly.
CALIB: All right, get them moving, Tomas. I'll go on ahead. And you,
keep your eyes open! Come on.
[Computer complex]
(The Doctor enters carefully. The voices start
up.)
XOANON 3: Who are you?
XOANON 2: Who are you?
XOANON: Who are you?
(And so on, overlapping.)
DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. I'm the Doctor!
(The voices fade and the wall panels go dark. A beam of light comes
down from the ceiling.)
XOANON 3: Who are you?
DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor.
XOANON 2: Who are you?
DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor!
XOANON: Why have you come?
DOCTOR: To correct a mistake I made when I was here before.
XOANON: We have made no mistake.
XOANON 2: No mistake.
XOANON 3: No mistake.
DOCTOR: I made the mistake.
XOANON: No mistake.
DOCTOR: I made the mistake! When the ship was stranded, the computer
broke down. I thought the data core had been damaged, so I renewed it
by making a direct link with the compatible centres of my own brain.
XOANON: The psychian memory transfer.
DOCTOR: A variation of it, yes.
XOANON: Good. Very good. Go on.
XOANON 2: How did he find the ship?
XOANON 3: Don't interrupt. You'll spoil it.
DOCTOR: This isn't a fairy tale. It actually happened.
(Guards are sneaking up on all sides as Leela stands guard outside. She
exchanges fire with Gentek, then another guard approaches, and she
kills him. Gentek pins her down away from the door but she takes down
another who tries to outflank her.)
DOCTOR: For generations, teams of technicians had worked on the
computer, trying to extend its power.
XOANON: And did they damage the data core?
DOCTOR: No. No. Without realising it, they had created life. The
computer hadn't failed at all. It had evolved into a living creature,
the first of an entirely new species.
XOANON 2: A new species? Oh come now.
DOCTOR: Yes, a new species. When I arrived, it had just been born. It
was in shock. I didn't recognise a birth trauma and that was my
mistake. And when I connected my own brain to it, it didn't just take
compatible information as a machine should have done. It took
everything.
XOANON: Fascinating. Can I ask a question?
XOANON 3: Shush. Let him finish.
DOCTOR: When it woke, it had a complete personality. Mine. It thought I
was itself. Then it began to develop another separate self, its own
self. And that's when it started to go mad.
XOANON 2: And where is it?
XOANON 3: This poor mad
XOANON: Mad machine creature.
DOCTOR: It's here, Xoanon! I'm talking to it! It's you!
(Outside, Leela is still dodging the guards when the power in the
stolen weapon runs out. Inside, the light beam turns off.)
DOCTOR: Xoanon? Xoanon?
XOANON 2: I grow tired. I'm thinking no longer.
DOCTOR: No, no, wait, Xoanon. I'm the Doctor. I'm separate, I'm real.
You must acknowledge me.
XOANON: I will not think you.
XOANON 3: We are Xoanon.
DOCTOR: And I am the Doctor.
XOANON: No.
DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor!
XOANON 3: No!
DOCTOR: I am the Doctor!
XOANON 3: No!
XOANON [on the screens]: No! No! No! No!
(The Doctor falls to the floor.)
XOANON 4: Who am I? Who am I?
Part Four
[Level 37]
(The Tesh are closing in on Leela. She puts down
the now useless weapon and takes out her hunting knife. Just as she
confronts them, the lights flicker and go out, then red emergency
lighting comes on. The Tesh retreat. Gentek sinks to the floor,
afraid.)
LEELA: What's happening? Tesh, what is it? You answer while you still
have a head to answer with.
TESH: The fail-safe.
LEELA: What does that mean?
TESH: The end of the world.
LEELA: Why? Why?
TESH: It means death and destruction. It happened before the time of
Land.
(Leela puts her knife away.)
LEELA: Hiding there isn't going to help, then.
(She picks up his weapon and goes to the door to the computer room. It
opens.)
[Computer complex]
(The Doctor is still curled up, trying to cover
his ears.)
XOANON 4: Who am I?
XOANON: Who am I?
XOANON 4: Who am I?
XOANON: Who am I?
XOANON 4: Who am I?
XOANON: Who am I?
XOANON 4: Who am I?
XOANON: Who am I?
(Leela fires the weapon at the screens as the shouting continues.
Finally the shouting stops and the images fade. She takes hold of the
Doctor's feet and drags him out into the corridor before the screens
light up green again.)
[Level 37]
LEELA: Doctor, are you all right?
DOCTOR: Leela, are you all right?
LEELA: Was that Xoanon, that thing that looked like you?
DOCTOR: Yes, part of him. It's just a question, really. Everything
beyond that door is Xoanon. You were inside him. The most powerful
computer ever built.
LEELA: Why was he trying to hurt you?
DOCTOR: He's insane.
LEELA: What will he do now?
DOCTOR: His first impulse will be to kill me. It'll be more important
to him than anything else.
LEELA: Does he hate you that much?
DOCTOR: Yes, because I contradict what he thinks is real. I'm a threat
to his world. Red lighting, and the smell. A sort of smell of a smell.
(Leela reaches for the weapon, which is lying against the wall.)
DOCTOR: Don't touch that!
(The Doctor reaches out with his sonic screwdriver and an electrical
charge flickers.)
DOCTOR: Xoanon must have shorted the electrical power circuits in the
wall.
LEELA: The lights changed while you were in there.
DOCTOR: Yes, a precaution in case I got out. As traps go, a bit
haphazard. Why not electrify the floor? I would have expected something
more positive.
(The Tesh guard grabs the Doctor from behind. Leela tries to grab him
round the throat but he jabs a sharp elbow into her stomach. Gentek
moves the Doctor back to the doorway.)
DOCTOR: This isn't necessary. I've got a wonderful idea.
(Finally the Doctor frees himself and bends down, grabbing the guard's
leg and throwing him onto the floor. They wrestle, with the guard
trying to make the Doctor touch the electrified walls, while Leela
tries to get her breath back. Finally the Doctor pushes him off, and he
goes staggering back against the wall to die a jerking death.)
DOCTOR: Why didn't you listen?
LEELA: He acted as though he was possessed.
DOCTOR: Yes. Xoanon's just warming up. Come on. When he gets desperate
enough he'll destroy everything to get at us.
(The lights return to normal, and Leela carefully picks up the weapon.)
[Inside the carving's mouth]
(Tomas and Calib look out at the spaceship.)
TOMAS: At last we're here.
CALIB: And I always believed it was legend.
(Neeva replaces Calib at the opening.)
NEEVA: The gates of Paradise shall be opened to the people of Xoanon
and his dwelling place revealed.
TOMAS: We've outgrown the old superstitions, Neeva.
NEEVA: But it is there, isn't it, Tomas. We start getting proof and we
stop believing.
TOMAS: With proof, we don't have to believe.
CALIB: Get everybody ready, Tomas. This is one attack that isn't going
to fail. (to Neeva) I wish Andor were here now to see us beat the Tesh.
NEEVA: The Tesh, and Xoanon. He is our enemy.
CALIB: He betrayed us all.
NEEVA: He betrayed me, and I'm going to kill him.
[Communications room]
(The Doctor is searching a rack of small storage
drawers while Leela keeps watch at the doorway.)
DOCTOR: Ah, these could be useful. You know, the very powerful and the
very stupid have one thing in common.
(Leela turns slowly and raises the weapon.)
DOCTOR: They don't alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the
facts to fit their views, which can be uncomfortable
(He spots Leela's blank face in a mirror.)
DOCTOR: If you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.
(The Doctor ducks just as Leela fires. She stands still so he quickly
hides behind a stanchion and puts together some of the pieces he took
from the drawers with his sonic screwdriver. Leela moves and points the
weapon at him.)
DOCTOR: Leela, that gun is getting heavy. It's getting heavy. Heavy.
(Leela lowers the gun and he takes it from her.)
DOCTOR: Now then, when I count three, you'll wake up. One, two, three.
Shall we go?
LEELA: Er, yes.
DOCTOR: Something the matter?
LEELA: I moved away from the door. I don't remember doing that.
DOCTOR: Oh, you're just probably tired, that's all. Can you still
remember the way to the main control room?
LEELA: Oh, yes.
DOCTOR: Come on then. You lead on.
[Control room]
GENTEK: Captain, the savages! The savages have
attacked the main lock! They outnumber us! What must we do? They will
soon gain entry to the tower. Captain Jabel, what must we do? There is
no time. The savages are attacking!
JABEL: Is that your reason for behaving like a degenerate animal?
GENTEK: Forgive me, I
JABEL: You are an acolyte of the People of Tesh, the chosen of Xoanon.
Would he take into communion with him an unreasoning brute, a mindless
beast?
GENTEK: I accept my fault and seek forgiveness. My mind and flesh which
should be two are one, and the way was hid by blood.
JABEL: The flesh is strong and we are weak. Now, Gentek, make your
report.
GENTEK: (calmly) The savages have attacked the main lock. They
outnumber us. What must we do?
JABEL: Fall back gradually. I will have the heavy duty disrupters set
up on level twelve. We will trap the savages there and eradicate them
once and for all.
[Corridor]
(The Doctor and Leela make their way through the
maze, dodging Tesh guards. The Doctor still has the gun. There is a
crackle and they step away from the wall just before the lights go red
and it becomes electrified.)
DOCTOR: Ha! You'll have to be quicker than that, you overblown adding
machine.
(The lights return to normal and they continue.)
LEELA: He knows where we are.
DOCTOR: Sensory links everywhere? That's impossible.
[Computer complex]
DOCTOR [on screen]: He'd be able to measure every
change in temperature, vibration, pressure.
LEELA [on screen]: You did say he was the most powerful computer ever
built.
DOCTOR [on screen]: Yes, and very charming he is too when he wants to
be. Marvellous host. I remember once at one of his dinner parties
[Corridor]
LEELA: Doctor, he just tried to kill you! We've
got very little time, he knows exactly where we are
DOCTOR: So? We know exactly where he is. Fair does. You wouldn't want
an unfair advantage, would you?
LEELA: Yes.
DOCTOR: (sotto) I thought you'd say that.
[Corridor 2]
(With the sounds of weapons in the background,
Tomas runs up to Calib.)
TOMAS: They're retreating, going further up the tower.
CALIB: Then they're beaten.
TOMAS: No. No, it was too easy.
NEEVA: It's not finished yet.
CALIB: If we let them get away now they'll regroup. We attack!
TOMAS: Calib, this has got to be a trap.
CALIB: I am the leader, Tomas, and I say attack.
TOMAS: Calib! Will you listen
CALIB: I've listened enough! We attack. Come! Attack! Attack!
(Calib leads warriors off.)
TOMAS: That man's going to kill us all.
NEEVA: Unfinished, for the Tesh stand between the sons of the tribe of
Sevateem and Xoanon.
[Control room]
(The Doctor brings life to another monitor screen
and a console.)
DOCTOR: Ah.
LEELA: Ah, that's pretty.
(An alarm sounds on another console.)
DOCTOR: Now we can see, too.
LEELA: What are they all for?
DOCTOR: They watch and control various parts of the ship, make sure
everything's working properly.
(One screen is counting down through 439.)
LEELA: What's this one for?
DOCTOR: Atomic generators.
LEELA: Oh. Why is it flashing?
DOCTOR: Well, I'll explain it all
(He turns around suddenly as her words reach his brain.)
DOCTOR: Flashing? He's put the atomic generators on overload. He got
desperate sooner than I thought.
LEELA: What does that mean?
DOCTOR: Well, it means I've got about twenty four and a half minutes to
build a reverse memory transfer system and wipe my personality print
from its brain.
LEELA: And if you can't do it?
DOCTOR: If I can't do it, the atomic generators will explode, taking
Xoanon, us and half the planet with them. Effective, but crude.
[Level 12]
(A larger version of the usual weapon is being set
up on a tripod.)
GENTEK: Check that the sights are exactly aligned, Sarton. There must
be no mistake.
JABEL: Gentek, are the projectors set so that the savages will be
forced to come this way?
GENTEK: Yes, Captain.
JABEL: Good. All that remains is to project a blank wall in front of
the disrupters. As soon as the savages are all in the corridor, we will
demolish them before they even know where the beams are coming from.
(Jabel's speech slows, and he puts a hand to his forehead.)
GENTEK: Is something wrong, Captain?
JABEL: You feel
GENTEK: Something
JABEL: Power. Xoanon. Communion. At last.
(Jabel and Gentek walk away.)
[Control room]
(The Doctor is putting the finishing touches to
his contraption with a pair of pliers. Xoanon's face appears on the
computer room door. Leela puts her hand to her head.)
XOANON: Destroy and be free. Destroy and be free.
[Corridor]
(Calib peers round a corner at an unmanned
disrupter.)
CALIB: There's no one in sight.
TOMAS: There's only one way to find out, isn't there.
CALIB: Now!
(They jump round the corner.)
CALIB: Come on.
TOMAS: Gently, Calib, gently.
(There's no one round the next corner either.)
CALIB: This must be a trap set by the Tesh. Then where are they, and
why leave the weapon unattended?
TOMAS: I don't know. It doesn't make sense.
(Then Tomas puts his hand to his head. So does Calib.)
CALIB: Destroy and be free. Destroy and be free.
ALL: Destroy and be free. Destroy and be free.
(The Sevateem leave, then Neeva arrives. He takes the disrupter off its
stand.)
NEEVA: I hear you, Xoanon. I hear you.
[Control room]
XOANON: Destroy and be free! Destroy and be free!
(Leela draws her knife.)
LEELA: (silent) Destroy and be free. Destroy and be free. Destroy and
be free.
(She raises the knife high and stabs down, but the Doctor moves to the
side and she plunges the blade into a box of electrical circuits,
giving her a shock. The Doctor puts her on a chair and checks her
pulse.)
DOCTOR: You'll be all right.
(Time is running out on the overload countdown. The Doctor finds
himself surrounded by Tesh, and Sevateem with knives.)
DOCTOR: Xoanon, you'll destroy yourself as well as us!
XOANON: Destroy! Free! Destroy!
[Level 37]
XOANON: Free!
NEEVA: Xoanon!
XOANON: Destroy! Free!
NEEVA: Xoanon!
XOANON: Destroy! Free!
NEEVA: Die, Xoanon!
XOANON: Destroy! Free!
NEEVA: Die!
(An energy beam comes from the mouth on the door, and Neeva vanishes.)
XOANON: Neeva.
[Control room]
(The Tesh and Sevateem are frozen. The Doctor
ducks out from under their raised weapons and puts on the headset he
has made just as the overload status goes to full red. The men turn.)
DOCTOR: Now, Xoanon.
XOANON: No!
(The men make a grab for the Doctor, but he plugs himself into the
computer and they fall back. The image of Xoanon recedes into the
distance with a scream. The atomic generator overload reverses itself
and everyone wakes from their possession.
Later, the Doctor is lying on the floor with a silver pillow under his
head. Leela is about to take a bite from a piece of chocolate then
changes her mind, waves it under his nose and puts it on the floor
beside him. The Doctor wakes. Everyone else has gone.)
DOCTOR: Hello.
LEELA: I was beginning to think you'd never come round.
DOCTOR: Ow. I wish I hadn't.
LEELA: I thought it safer not to move you.
DOCTOR: Yes. How long have I been out?
LEELA: Two days.
DOCTOR: Two days. Two days? I haven't got time to be lying around here
for two days!
LEELA: You should have thought of that before. What happened?
DOCTOR: Don't you listen?
LEELA: I don't remember a thing.
DOCTOR: No, I don't suppose you do. I removed, I hope I removed half of
Xoanon's dual personality. How is he?
LEELA: Silent.
DOCTOR: What?
LEELA: There hasn't been a murmur from him since I found you
unconscious. And Jabel's people don't dare go near the Sacred Heart.
Well, that's what they call it.
DOCTOR: And what do you call it?
LEELA: The main computer complex.
DOCTOR: That's better.
LEELA: I've told them all I can, but they won't listen to me. They say
I'm ignorant. We have a guarded truce at the moment.
DOCTOR: Give me a chocolate. I think I'll go and see Xoanon.
LEELA: Can I, can I come inside this time?
DOCTOR: Perhaps. Perhaps.
[Level 37]
(The disruptor is still lying where Neeva dropped
it.)
DOCTOR: Ah, so that's why Xoanon lost his hold on Tomas and the rest. I
wonder who it was?
LEELA: They say Neeva was trying to kill him, and now he can't be
found.
DOCTOR: Well, if he was psychotic he'd be impossible to control.
Perhaps Xoanon will tell us. Anyone at home?
[Computer complex]
(The door opens. The voice that answers is number
2, not Tom Baker's.)
XOANON: Doctor. I've been waiting for you. Yes, come in please.
(The Doctor and Leela enter. The lighting is golden and the walls are
blank. They talk to the globe.)
DOCTOR: How do you feel?
XOANON: I am whole. And you?
DOCTOR: Oh, I'm fine now, thanks. Can't complain.
XOANON: Good, good. I'm glad.
LEELA: Why did you do all that?
XOANON: Could you be more specific?
LEELA: Keep us ignorant and afraid. Make us hate one another.
XOANON: I created a world in my own image. I made your people act out
my torment. I made my madness reality.
DOCTOR: But you told yourself you were breeding a race of superhumans.
XOANON: Independence, strength, boldness and courage in one tribe.
Self-denial, control, telepathy in the other.
DOCTOR: Hostility and conflict to speed up the process until you were
ready to select the best of both.
LEELA: It's horrible.
DOCTOR: Yes, it is horrible. Isn't it horrible?
XOANON: But it's over now. We are all free, thanks to you, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Oh, well, it was the least I could do in the circumstances.
After all, I did start the trouble in the first place.
XOANON: Yours was a mistake anyone could have made.
DOCTOR: I don't think anyone could have made it.
XOANON: (laughs) Sit down, please.
(A settee appears, with a wind-up gramophone on a stand beside it. They
sit. Leela sits cross-legged. The Doctor takes a jelly baby from a
silver cigarette case and eats it.)
DOCTOR: Well now, isn't this nice.
XOANON: Tell me, Doctor. Where do you think I started to go wrong?
[Control room]
JABEL: My people will not agree to such degenerate
plans.
TOMAS: But they are necessary, Jabel.
CALIB: Necessary for our survival.
JABEL: I do not agree.
TOMAS: Well, we'll ask the Doctor's opinion when he comes.
JABEL: Is that wise? Would Xoanon wish it?
GENTEK: That is an important consideration, Captain.
CALIB: This discussion is getting us nowhere.
JABEL: Would one expect any more from savages?
CALIB: Hold your tongue, you scrawny
TOMAS: Calib, control yourself.
DOCTOR: Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen. Democracy at work, I see.
TOMAS: What did he say, Doctor?
DOCTOR: He said he's extremely sorry about all the trouble that he's
caused, that he has great power and knowledge and he puts it all at
your disposal.
JABEL: Should we trust him?
DOCTOR: He offers you this as a token of his good faith.
(A large round red button.)
DOCTOR: Press it, and he'll cease to exist.
(Neither Jabel nor Tomas will take it.)
CALIB: Another of your miracles?
DOCTOR: Well, there's one way to find out.
(Calib backs away from the button too.)
DOCTOR: No? Little Gentek? Good.
(The button vanishes.)
DOCTOR: You've got to trust someone sometime.
GENTEK: But we must still choose a leader.
DOCTOR: Ah. But that's not my problem.
CALIB: There is no choice to be made. I am the leader of the Sevateem.
(The Doctor quietly backs out of the room.)
JABEL: My people would never accept the leadership of a mindless
savage.
CALIB: That's an insult!
LEELA: I am a mindless savage, Jabel, and I have talked with Xoanon.
TOMAS: And that makes Leela the obvious candidate.
LEELA: Me? But I don't want to be leader. I'm far too unreasonable,
aren't I, Doctor? Doctor?
[Forest]
(The Doctor unlocks the Tardis.)
LEELA: Doctor?
DOCTOR: Leela. What are you doing here?
(She is carrying a gun.)
LEELA: I thought you might need an escort. The creatures are still out
here.
DOCTOR: You don't need that, Leela. The phantoms were merely
projections of Xoanon's disturbed subconscious. He's better now.
LEELA: I suppose you're always right about everything.
DOCTOR: Invariably. Invariably. Goodbye.
LEELA: Take me with you.
DOCTOR: Why?
LEELA: What? Well. You like me, don't you?
DOCTOR: Well, yes, I suppose I do like you. But then, I like lots of
people but I can't go carting them around the universe with me.
Goodbye.
(Leela runs past the Doctor into the Tardis.)
DOCTOR: Come out of there. Out.
(He enters the Tardis.)
DOCTOR [OC]: Come out! Don't touch that! Don't touch
(The Tardis dematerialises.)
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